Fabu (FULL) Friday

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EEEK! It’s Friday! What’s even more amazing about this Friday?

I am at home, in my PJs. And it’s 1:30pm.

This week many of us are reflecting on what we are thankful for. This year, although one of the harder years I’ve endured, I have much to be thankful for. Although I could go on and on (seriously, pages FULL) about all the things I am thankful for I’m still full from stuffing my face and I’ll keep my list short and sweet. The most important thing I am thankful for, the salvation I have in Jesus. The forgiveness I’ve been shown and the redemption, sanctification process, and how He is refining me daily to be more and more like Him.

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I’m gonna start with these too beauties! Oh.My.Gosh. These girls make my heart swell. We had a sleepover last weekend and it was packed full of hot-tubbin’, game playin’, moving watchin’, sleepless laughter and fun.

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They also got to be the first passengers in….. MY NEW CAR (new to me, it’s a 2010 GMC Terrain)!! My Hubs blessed my socks off and got me the car of my dreams! It was much needed as we had been praying over his Jeep for months now. Just asking the Lord to extend the mileage and use. So while we did that, He was making a way to provide the next vehicle.

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It was dumping rain when I took this picture so it’s not the best quality, but YAY! Seriously such an amazing gift!

After I took the girls home, after our fun and games, I came home and got to work. I know, it’s a little early, but hey this was the weekend I had the time do this. I cleaned my fanny off and then decorated for the Upcoming holiday season. It was fabulous! Seriously, so awesome!

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The corner of our sofa has been my retreat this week! I have been journaling, reading, and snuggling up in the sparkle of the lights and cozy warmth of the fireplace. This is by far my most favorite!

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Truth right here, gang. In my quiet times lately these are two truths that have been steadily on my heart. Trusting. Waiting. Knowing that He is working all things together for my good and His Glory. I love what He’s doing in my life and I love that He has been so faithful. This is a beautiful reminder for me to keep trusting and to know the He, alone, is my hope!

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This!!!! Oh my! So, my girlfriend, L, sent this to me yesterday morning. I about died. I am telling you, my furry friend Georgie is in LOVE with the skirt of the tree. I’ve never seen a cat more obsessed with a tree.

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Heehee, isn’t that the truth around the Holidays?

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Yup, especially on Saturday’s (or days off).

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Every.Single.Morning.

Happy Thanksgiving (I know, a day late). I hope that you all had a wonderful time with family and/or friends. If you have a large family, like we do, the festivities are still underway!

Next stuffing sesh, Saturday evening!

Fabu Friday!

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Another week has passed. And I’m telling you, it typically surprises me when it comes but this time I feel like it took a million years forever for Friday to get here. Dragging on and on and on……..

Last Friday, on our agenda, we had a pretty rad concert to catch. And let me tell you, it was rad! I feel like I finally found “my people”. When I lead worship at my church I typically don’t hold back. There is loads bouncing, jumping, and singing my guts out (usually until I am really out of breath). It’s so fun. Once Hillsong United came out, I discovered something….I’m telling you I BELONG WITH THEM! Haha, ok, I don’t think I could keep up with them, but man, it was so great. It was really an amazing night of worship (and entertainment).

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I am super thankful to have had the opportunity to go (allll thanks goes to my amazing boss).

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Huge difference…

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I can’t tell you how true I think this statement is. 🙂

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Happy (almost) Turkey/stuff your face full/eatwaytoomuchandfeelsicklater Day! If you guys have a large family or small group you might be starting the binge fest early. I know we are, festivities start Tuesday. I better bust out my leggings and stretchy pants now.

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This guy, Georgie, kills me. He has never ever snuggled me (or anyone for that matter) like this before. It was a glorious 20 minutes of snuggle time with my furry friend.

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This. This was my favorite part of the week. Ok, that’s a lie. I’m not a big fan of needles, at least it gets injected into the tush area where my eye balls cannot see how far the giant needle goes in, last time the hubs was a champ and did it flawlessly – this time the nurse did it, and I was bruised for days. I get weak just thinking about it. Anyway, triple lining of 8.5 and TWO follies of 17mm and 27mm (10,000 Novarel). I had some small little ones lingering around but nothing noteworthy or nearly mature enough to consider.

 TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m voting for twins. If I have a say, that’s what I want. Two for the price of one.

Ok, just kidding, but seriously, I’ll take what whatever He’s willing to give!

I think for the first time in our entire journey I am absolutely terrified of both outcomes. I soo want it to work but at the same time I am completely scared. I haven’t even really been able to clearly communicate the fear of either outcome. I think what might terrify me the most is a negative outcome or another chemical pregnancy. I’ve had two of those and 3 losses. But what’s equally terrifying is the possibility of actually achieving pregnancy again and get attached only for it to fail in weeks to come – and that’s only an assumption – it could also go perfectly. See I can’t even decide what’s worse, even though I was trying to.

So, what makes this Fabulous? Well, truthfully, I think it’s completely amazing that I (we – hubs and me) only have ONE responsibility. Have sex. 1, that is fabulous in itself and I don’t think that needs any explanation. 2, I have no control of the outcome. God, the author and creator of life, has all the control and a major plan for our life. Whether that includes children……or not. Ouch, maybe that’s what’s hard to really swallow…. Perhaps my desires and my idea of a family isn’t at all what He has planned. Some how that has to be ok, and right now, it’s only sorta ok. But regardless, its fabulous because this relieves me of all the pressure to perform. We just simply rest in the decisions and provisions and ride along waiting for direction/answers. Now THAT is Fabu! That is what Fabulous is all about, my friend!

Tonight, I get to have a slumber party with two girls, who happen to be my favorite, I hope they’re ready for pictures!

Have a Happy Friday!

Oh and in case you were wondering how many selfies it takes to get ONE good one in the car (don’t worry we were waiting in line at a coffee shop, not actually driving), here’s your answer:

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Changing my Ministry…

I have recently started doing some research on available resources for woman who have experienced loss through miscarriage. I see on so many other blogs about how these woman have a huge assortment of options and support groups – like an abundance of them (typically the hospitals, REs, and ob/gyns have these resources, I was offered NONE through all 3 of my losses). So, I was a bit intrigued.

What does Spokane have to offer those of us who have lost?

Well, from what I have found we have ONE, one group for infant/child loss. While that is amazing that we have one group for that demographic, I was and still am astounded that we are severely lacking in our resources (while both are devastating, it’s nearly impossibly to compare miscarriage to infant/child loss, and that’s ok, both are unique and unimaginably hard and likely invoke a wide variety of different emotions and feelings). With statistics the way they are (at least 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage) I can’t imagine that Spokane doesn’t have a need…. Right? I mean since I’ve started this journey I have met well over 10 people who have either recently lost or have lost in the past. I imagine there are hundreds more. Granted not everyone needs a support group. Everyone responds differently and everyone has their own way of dealing with the loss and/or grief.

But what about those who DO need it? I was recently commenting on another blog about our lack of services here and she gently encouraged me (well maybe it was just something to say) to start one myself. I waved the notion off and went on my way. But then I dug around some more, and dug around some more. I even sent off a few emails enquiring about services.

After a few exchanged emails I was then presented with the opportunity to do just that. Start a group. Of course I have fears and hesitations. I am certainly not qualified…. Or maybe I am? A matter of fact, I think I just might be the right person for the job…

But, Morgan…. Aren’t you still recovering from a pretty traumatic loss yourself?

Well, yes… But, I am actually in a good spot. Each day I have healed that much more from having part of my heart torn from my chest. It doesn’t sting as much. I don’t cry as often. I’ve worked really hard on healing and pressing into the Lord and trusting His plan. I’ve worked really hard to get where I am (even though to some it might not be very far). But, the benefit of me still being in a place of healing is that I would really know and understand, to an extent, what these woman are going through.

Could this be the opportunity that is changing my ministry? It’s pretty obvious I have a passion for this subject and it’s not simply JUST because I have experienced loss. Aren’t we called to love on the broken, lift each other up, and support one another? Perhaps this is a fantastic opportunity to minister to the broken-hearted and facilitate a group of woman who so desperately need to be heard and supported, especially when these situations often leave us feeling alone and isolated, like no one understands…

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I don’t know about you but the more I think about it the more I am inclined to step through this door. There are four things that are keeping me from doing this immediately:

  • I have never led a group before… ok, that’s a lie. I am leader at my church and I have participated in facilitating a group through ARMS (Abuse Recovery Ministry Services – a WHOLE other topic for another day), but I have never led a group in this type of setting. What the heck does a support group even look like? How does the “leader” lead discussions, or do I let them just talk (and make sure that appropriate subjects are discussed, etc)? Inexperience is making me hesitate.

 

  • Time. I have no idea what kind of time commitment this would be. Once a week, twice a week, every other week, once a month? I am already committed to so many things, I don’t want this to become a burden, or time sucker. However, wouldn’t the time be well spent and rewarding?

 

  • Cost. It costs money to become a member of the group that I would facilitate through. Granted I believe it’s only $50 a year (Ya, I know, practically nothing).  But with fertility treatments costing an arm and a leg, the holidays are near, and well, let’s be honest, the Hubs and I are still finding our new flow in regards to budget with a home mortgage added in. My excuse to this: come January the extra $50 might not be an issue. Then again, the hubs does most of our finances so, I could be way wrong and the $50 might not be an issue now. Honestly, this portion is just a tiny fraction of my hesitation.

 

  • Lastly, what if I become pregnant during this group. I had a pretty good talk with my good friend over text about this last night (thanks Dani, love you and your heart) and she certainly challenged me with some questions about this. However, my argument is that IF by chance someone in that group is not in a place where they can be led by someone (or be around) who is pregnant, would that make it weird? Or is this a ridiculous concern and I am being overly sensitive? Her question to me was essentially this: If I were pregnant would that make me less understanding or make my experiences (and what I’ve learned) void? No. It would not change the valuable lessons I have learned. It would not change the pain that I have felt. It would not change the struggles. Matter of fact, I think it would then make me even more wise in my understanding. But, then again, maybe not.

Perhaps I am over thinking it all. But making a commitment to something like this isn’t a small choice. It requires sacrifices on my part.

Have you ever lead a support group? What did that look like? If you have attended, what was it like? What did you like, or what didn’t you like?

I have a really amazing opportunity in front of me…. But, am I ready? Am I the right person for this job? I am in the process of setting up a meet and greet with the gal who organizes and decides which groups are needed. She really wants me to do it (which is funny, she doesn’t even know me, haha!).

Pray for me, I need wisdom and direction!

Fabu Friday!

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Holy Batman… How on earth is it Friday already? I am seriously baffled that it’s here already. I’m especially excited for today because we are going to the Winter Jam Concert tonight. I am super thrilled to get to worship and have the opportunity to watch some of my favs. I think I am most excited about Hillsong.

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I think I’ll start at the beginning. Last Saturday the sister and I decided to have some girl time and I ended up with some funky/fancy/sparkly nails. Just in time for the holidays. I may or may not keep them up, but it was a nice little pick me up.

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On Sunday morning I woke up early to get ready for church. But typically before I roll out of bed I try to check my email and pop on to some social media sites while my eye balls are waking up (if I have the time, that is). I woke up check the email and saw this:

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I am not sure I have the words to express my gratitude and thankfulness that someone would remember my little Colton and take action to do something meaningful for him. This melted me. Especially when I realized that not many people remember this kind of stuff. I don’t really expect people to, but it’s incredibly moving when someone makes an effort to remember and do something sweet in remembrance. Thank you, Sweet friend! (you can find her blog here)

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Pictured above is my Mug Exchange package that I was so blessed by! I’ve never really participated in such exchanges, but this year I was able to connect with SO many more woman who have been through what I  have been through and bless someone else with a fun package as well! Thank you SO much Lo (her blog is here) for giving so generously! Also thank you Chelsea for hosting and making sure everything was perfect!

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 I promised more pictures of the family that was in town. Once again I failed at taking loads of amazing pics, but I did happen to sneak in a few silly ones. Seriously, I can’t get enough of these kiddos. I lub them so much and I cannot wait for them to be here and I get more auntie time. Seriously though, is there anything better than being an auntie? I don’t think so…

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Many many of you already follow Elisha and know that recently she posted some funny facts about herself. Well in her comments I had mentioned one of my quirky facts: I hate all wooden utensils. And by hate, I mean, I cannot stand them. I do not own, nor will I ever own wooden utensils. GROSS. So about a day later I received this silly and disturbing text from her. That girl, she sure knows how to pull a prank and make this girl cringe a little. Once I battled the migraine I was able to giggle about it, however in the midst of a migraine, I wanted to shiver and cringe and delete it as fast as possible.

And because these were funny and cute, I’ll leave you with this:

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Seriously guys, it’s stinkin’ cold. Brrrr!

 

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Yup. Needs no explanation.

 

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This is me. Every.Single.Time. Poor Hubs.