Make it Last, For a Hundred More Years…

A diamond ring and twelve red roses
Everything she ever wanted
All those dreams and now they’re finally here
She’s so young and he’s so perfect
They waited for love and it was worth it
She wants to feel like this for a hundred years

All this life still yet to live and they can hardly wait
They can laugh
They can cry
The future looks so beautiful and bright
They can dance under the moonlight
‘Cause God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And she wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years

She’s got blue eyes just like her mother
Three years old, he’s crazy for her
He wants to freeze this day before it disappears
She’s spinnin’ like a little princess
Makin’ sure he’s gonna notice
He could watch her twirl for a hundred years

She’ll grow up and she’ll leave home but until that day
They can laugh
They can cry
The future looks so beautiful and bright
They can dance under the moonlight
‘Cause God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And he wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years

And its only time
But it flies right by
And today is sweeter than we know

And so they dance under the moonlight
While God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And they want to stay right here
For a hundred more years

Our wedding day was quite possibly one of my most favorite days I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. This song was what we chose for me and my Daddy to walk down to meet my man at the altar.

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This song couldn’t be a better description of what we wanted life to look like, what we wanted it to feel like. So far, it does feel like that. Some of these big life moments we’ve gotten to share make me want our minutes and our days to last a hundred more years. There are certainly some  experiences that I wish would never end… You know, those days where your heart is so content it could explode? We’ve been really lucky and had a lot of those moments. I know I’ll never forget the moments we want to quickly end, or fly by with exponential speed… But those aren’t the moments that fill you. They are certainly purposeful and meaningful. But moments that are full, that make you want to stay right where you are, those are what get us through some of the tough stuff.

Yesterday was one of those days.

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Yesterday was one that I never imagined I would get to see.

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Yesterday was one of those days where the love I am capable of feeling grew to an immeasurable size.

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Yesterday was a game changer for me.

RPL (repeat pregnancy loss) can really mess with someone. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it robs a lot from you and you have to fight tooth and nail to get it back. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it. Part of this is not feeling “connected” to a pregnancy. I wouldn’t dare say that I didn’t love this babe before yesterday, but I can you right now, it’s not even close to the same love I feel today. It’s different. It’s less guarded. It’s less fear-driven. It’s less scary. To be fully honest, I don’t even know how to explain it correctly so that anyone who reads this understands the before and after “feelers”. Today, I finally feel more connected, more like a unit of oneness. Yeah, the pictures are kinda creepy looking, but also so freaking cute I could stare all.day.long. But it finally sank in that this thing on a picture will become a tiny human in the outside world (Lord, willing). This little thing I keep starting at has flipping kidneys?!? I watched as its little heart pumped away in different chambers, I watched this little tiny person sleep snuggled up to the placenta like it was a soft pillow. It has personality, and is practicing things that it will continue to learn once here, in our arms.

Surreal. I don’t even understand it, and I won’t even try to. I simply cannot comprehend how this was woven together so delicately.

“And she wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years”

Next appointment: End of March (21 weeks) – This will include the full anatomy ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I officially hate this question….. So, I was WAY wrong. Since pre-pregnancy I am up a total of 9 pounds. I thought this was a lot, but the nurse said that it was well within normal… YIKES, no matter how prepared you think you are to watch the scale move UP, it still stings a little when you see a weight you’ve never weighed before in your life. I guess the good part is from my last appointment to this appointment ( 4 weeks in between ) I gained a small 3 pounds 🙂
Exercise: I’ve been bad. I haven’t done anything in like a week and a half. But I plan on popping in that Yoga DVD soon, I’ve convinced the hubster to join in on my bendy movements.
Maternity clothes: Same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. Mostly normal tops (although I’ve noticed they’re starting to roll up on occasion haha). Pants/leggings/skirts all maternity. Especially at the end of the day!
Sleep: Meh. sometimes ok, sometimes not.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have. I’m still having a love obsession over fruit and veggies! WIN!
Symptoms: Tired. Headaches, oh my gosh the headaches. They turn into full-blown migraines about 3-5 times a week. Dizzy, lots of dizzy. Growing a belly!!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now measuring about 6 inches long and weighing just over 5 ounces. Babe was measuring 3 days big at 17 weeks 2 days (while I was 16+6). During his/her sleepy time (aka my ultrasound) the heart rate was 152. But once I was in to see the new doc/midwife babe’s heart rate bumped back up to 156. The placenta is in perfect position, the cervix was perfect. And…… baby is officially a he or a she 🙂
Movement:  *same* I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss:  I miss my skin…. I don’t want to look like an acne-prone teenager anymore. I also miss having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper, although I have noticed I’m getting better, I think. That might be a better question for my man to answer, haha! Although I only ever drink decaf coffee, I’ll admit the extra boost of sugar in the mornings can be a nice pick-me-up!
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What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels and looks. I’m loving that I *think* I’m feeling more and more movement. Love the fact that my belly is progressively getting larger and larger!
What I’m looking forward to:  Knowing that what I’m feeling is movements and knowing the gender… I hear that I’m having a party this weekend, a party where I’ll get KNOW who has taken up residence in this body of mine. I hear that there will be lots of things both purple and blue (I know, I’m not a huge pink fan). I.can’t.wait.
Baby Purchases:  My bestie Amber was super generous and gave us some gifts recently. I was proud I didn’t actually cry cry, I only got all welled up and almost cried. It was super thoughtful and super generous!
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It has bath stuff, lotion, teething rings, a toy (picked out by her amazing 4-year-old), q-tips, and some other fun miscellaneous items. I love it! They also gifted us a TON of bottles! Yippe!!! Starting the stash early. I couldn’t be more thankful for friends and family that is supporting us on this journey and excited to love on this little one!!!
Best moment this week: My ultrasound. Also, my first midwife appointment. It is still within the same practice I was at, just different people with different goals and more interested in the birthing experience I WANT instead of what works for them. I was THRILLED to have had an amazing appointment, incredibly thorough and she was super awesome. Also, we had a double date night. I’d been craving PF Changs lettuce wraps for WEEEEEEEKS, and I finally got them. It was a fun night with some of our most favorites!
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Hello 17 weeks, I’m excited you’re here and thankful that I’ve been blessed to experience everything this far! Keep your eyes out for our “What will Baby Brooks Bee” announcement!
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Changing Colors

You look at me with uncertainty
You look at me with urgency
You look at me with fear in your eyes
Like you’re about to fall away

Don’t be afraid to change your colours now
I’ve known you all summer and you rose above it all
I see you hesitate to fall now
But it’s a pretty good view from down here too

When the wind takes you it takes me too
And when you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
And when you let go, I will let go too

I knew you when you were green and small
Like a feather on a wing, so long
You know I will miss you when you are gone
But don’t be afraid if you just can’t hang on

Cause when the wind takes you it takes me too
When you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
When you let go, I will let go too

When the wind takes you it takes me too
And when you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
And when you let go, I will let go too

The cold air is pushing hard on you
I know what you’re saying, I can feel it too
You’ll go through changes and I’ll go through them too
Don’t be afraid now, no don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid

Cause when the wind takes you it takes me too
When you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
When you let go, I will let go too

Ok so this may seem like and odd choice in song (but I have to admit I absolutely love Josh Groban), but the biggest highlight of this last week was celebrating with my grandparents on Valentines Day. Why were we celebrating? Well, they’ve made it through 63 years of hard work, determination, understanding and extreme change. They’ve had to learn to evolve with each other, instead of away from each other. They’ve had to endure loss and frustration and addictions. They’ve seen the best of one another and the very worst of one another. They’ve had to let go of a lot and they’ve gotten to hold a lot. They’ve had very little, and they’ve had much. I couldn’t think of a better example of what marriage looks like. I’ll never forget around the year of their 60th (maybe 61st…?) anniversary, they went through a season of sickness and as I sat in the hospital with them my grandpa was bragging about the new rings they got each other. After 60 years, he’s bragging about the gifts they were capable of giving. After 60 years while he’s in a hospital bed and gown he’s still looking at his bride like the most prized possession he’ll ever have and hold.

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In 63 years will I be able to say that Connor and I have changed with each other, or away from each other? In 63 years will I still look at him like he’s the best gift that the Lord ever gave me? Will we always work as a team, let go together when it’s needed, or hold on tight together when it’s needed? I think that’s why I chose this song. Where you are, it’s where I want to be. Good, bad, ugly. When have little, and when we have lots. I want my colors to be capable of changing when needed. I want to be that example that my great grandkids look to and say, THAT’S the kind of marriage I want. I want to make it to 63 years and then some, lord willing we live that long!

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I love these two people, and quite a bit. I don’t see them as often as I’d like, I don’t talk to them as often as I’d like. Sometimes I’m a terrible granddaughter but every.single.time I call I am ALWAYS greeted with love and affection. Every.single.time I see them there are always tears in their eyes for the love and affection they feel for all their Grandkids and Great Grandkids. This. This is what love and commitment looks like. I couldn’t be more thankful to have a beautiful example.

Here’s to 60 and then some years, Love. I can’t wait to do all the ups and downs with you some more.

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This week I had the pleasure of becoming an Auntie again. Nope, not blood auntie, but I’ve received the honor of having that title for one of my closest friends newest addition. He is quite possibly the sweetest ever, and I know that I say it every time, but I really do mean it, every time.
Welcome to the world Deegan Asher, I’m so in love with you and I can’t wait to see what the Lord does in your amazing tiny little life!
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Alrighty, so for those that are interested, here is my weekly updates 🙂
Next appointment: End of February (17 weeks) – This will include an ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I am up 5 pounds max *I think*. To be honest I am not tracking this very well…
Exercise: Yoga, Yoga Yoga, my DVD came and I’m so excited. I’ve even convinced the husband to join me in my stretching endeavors!
Maternity clothes: About the same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. Mostly normal tops (although I’ve noticed they’re starting to roll up on occasion haha). Pants/leggings/skirts all maternity. Especially at the end of the day!
Sleep: Meh. sometimes ok, sometimes not.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have. I’m still having a love obsession over fruit and veggies! WIN! Oh, and also I usually eat chips and salsa everyday at 10:30 AM. Healthy, I know….
Symptoms: Tired. Headaches, oh my gosh the headaches. They turn into full-blown migraines about 3-5 times a week. I finally reached my thresh-hold and my Primary doc gave me some Phenergran for the really really bad migraines. I hate taking it, but oh my gosh, it brings me sleep and relief from nauseating pain. Dizzy, lots of dizzy. Growing a belly!!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now the size of a pickle (what the heck, who comes up with these?) measuring just over 4.5inches long and weighing just over 4 ounces. It’s wiggling around, sucking his/her thumb, and learning to listen with its newly refined ears. Each week, regardless of the veggie/fruit it compares it to, I am so amazed at the beautiful creation being knitted together inside of me. Babe’s heart rate is still consistently in the high 150’s and low 160’s.
Movement:  *same* I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss: Colton. I know I say Colton every week. But it’s true. He’s always on my mind – especially lately. On February 21st , 2014 I learned for the first time that I was pregnant with this sweet boy. My heart aches to know him and hold him, but I couldn’t be more thankful that he’s being held and known by the One who created him. I miss my skin…. I don’t want to look like an acne-prone teenager anymore. I also miss having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper, although I made no bake cookies before work and I will say that I have MUCH pride in those cookies, I feel like Super Woman .
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What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels and looks. I’m loving that I *think* I’m feeling more and more movement. It amazes me every time that there is a tiny human in there.
What I’m looking forward to:  Knowing that what I’m feeling is movements and knowing the gender…..I can’t wait to see babe SOOOON….. and buying ALL THE BABY THINGS.
Baby Purchases:  My sister was super generous and gifted us her crib, and Ergo baby wearing carrier thing, and a bunch of other accessories. We have also been gifted a few books and toys. This stuff totally just blesses me and makes me realized how loved this little one is. Blows me away, every.single.time. We now have two Costco size boxes of diapers, and we are working on a few house projects before we get started on baby purchases. I can’t wait to feel confident enough to buy things. As any RPL-er and they will tell you that buying baby things is a major trigger and whether you actually believe it or not, we feel it may jinx the pregnancy.
Best moment this week: Many people at work are getting wind that I am pregnant and so more and more people are starting to ask and I’ve really noticed how much support we have. It’s really a huge blessing. Also, we got some really fun news from our extended family and I can’t wait to share that in coming posts!!!!!!
Hello 16 weeks, I’m excited you’re here and thankful that I’ve been blessed to experience everything this far!
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The Love I Know

 

He painted ‘I love you’ on the bridge
Then watched them burn
She bet all she had upon the love
Now she’s holding her cards and lost her turn

Two hearts in search of wholeness
Both willing to risk it all
Could true love have fled so easily
Leaving both broken from the fall

Not the love I know
It knows no boundaries
Keeps no record of wrongs
That’s the love I know
It takes the good with the bad
And it fights to stay strong
That’s the love I know
This love always finds a way to carry on
That’s the love I know

He sits all alone and stares into an empty sky
She goes through all her mixed emotions
Trying to find a reason why

Was their pride too big to swallow
Was their hurt too deep to heal
Could they find some understanding
Find forgiveness that’s real

That’s the love I know
It speaks in kindness
It seeks only what’s true
That’s the love I know
A love without condition it looks to renew
That’s the love in know
It knows that when hope seems gone
Hope will come through
That’s the love I know

The love I know comes from a holy God to man
Isn’t it time that you received it
Are you starting to understand
The love I know

That’s the love I know
It speaks in kindness it seeks only what’s true
That’s the love I know
A love without condition it looks to renew
That’s the love I know
It knows that when hope seems gone hope will come through
That’s the love I know
That’s the love I know

So, some people may or may not like the direction I’m taking recently with my blog. But each week my blog will always start with a song that has been impactful over the course of the week. Most of which happen to be within the Christian Music genre. Take it, or leave, or skim right past. But I these are the little things I don’t want to forget.

Now, most of this song is focused on romantic relationships that have been damaged. However, it’s the chorus that really got me. I feel like lately there has been such a HUGE increase in social media wars. Shaming women for their decisions about breastfeeding or not, vaccinating or not, cloth diapers or disposable, home births, water births, fully medicated births. Not to mention the hottest debate right now is 50 Shades of Grey. I mean, seriously, type the number 50 into your Google search and I can almost guarantee that 50 Shades of Grey will be the first option to pick. I refuse to pipe into these debates because to me it’s not a debatable subject. I know what I believe and I know what God has asked of me and my family.

What’s most disappointing is how some of the Christian community has forgotten Love in this process. It seem like everyone is using books about fictional “romance” to be the standard of Love.  After talking with my husband about this topic last night and reflecting back on the debates that flood my Facebook, I realized that what’s missing in almost everyone’s debate is: Love.

Love isn’t kinky sex written in novels or displayed on social media or best seller box office hits.

Love isn’t purposefully using hurtful, unkind words to shame someone for the choices they’ve made out of ignorance, blindness, or selfishness.

Love isn’t passing judgment on a mother who has made a choice because she believes it’s the right choice for her family (example: vaccinations, water/home birth, co-sleeping, epidurals, natural birth).

Love has a standard.

And honestly I feel like Love has been lost in all of these debates and rants about who is right and who is wrong. Why all the shame? Why all the fighting? Yes, as a believer we have an obligation to walk beside our brothers and sisters and call forward the issues that do NOT line up in God’s Word. BUT, there is a productive way of doing so, and a not so productive way of doing so. Frankly, some choices are not even our business to argue or input opinions on unless it is completely harmful to their spiritual health.

“The love I know comes from a holy God to man
Isn’t it time that you received it
Are you starting to understand
The love I know

That’s the love I know
It speaks in kindness it seeks only what’s true
That’s the love I know
A love without condition it looks to renew
That’s the love I know
It knows that when hope seems gone hope will come through
That’s the love I know
That’s the love I know”

How is this defined? Look to the author of Love. How do my words and reactions display His love? Am I speaking in kindness and seeking truth? I mean, Jesus set a perfect example of Love and how we’re to carry it out. How are so many people forgetting this? Many of my Christian friends have engaged in back and forth banter, claiming that they’re standing up for what’s right and what God has asked of them, but I don’t see much kindness in many of their words. Like I said earlier, I’m not seeing Jesus like love, trust me – I am just as guilty sometimes. So this song, it’s been a good reminder to me of what my Love is to look like. Whether that’s within the intimacy of my own marriage or out in public while surrounded by much debate.

I have a lot of my own opinions and beliefs about all said topics, but it would completely irrelevant to share that. I am however, not tolerant of sin, and not afraid to point back to the bible about His standards that He has made clear for us. There are many choices I believe are the wrong choice and many that I think are the right choice (and there are certainly some topics that don’t have a right or wrong choice) but it doesn’t mean I’m going to love any differently.

On that note:

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 So my littlest favorite turned 1-year-old this last week. I don’t know where time goes, but it certainly goes way too fast. This chunk of a lady is walking, and growling (um, the cute growls), smiles, and eats snacks like she loves even the lamest of foods. She holds a very special place in my heart (ok, all my favorites do..). I can’t imagine my life without her.

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At her birthday party my niece became acquainted with a new baby. This babe is a teeny tiny 3/4 month old who is just sooo sweet. My niece clearly loves babies and is soooo tender and sweet when loving on them. She made sure to inspect every finger and every toe. She gently brushed her hand on her cheek and kissed her sweet little forehead. I have never seen such tenderness from a crazy 10-year-old. Heart.Melted.

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I have some pretty amazing friends. Like, ok, they are so amazing that I absolutely consider them my family. No questions asked. And then there is this man in my life, who happens to be my bestest friend in the whole world. So I found a little something that one, fits my minion theme and two, holds true for all my friends.

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Ok, biggest apologies for the lengthy post, so if you’re still reading here is this weeks latest on our Little Squishy.
Next appointment: End of February (17 weeks) – This will include an ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I am still only up 5 pounds max *I think*. Like I said last week, this is an odd update. but I’ll know more come my next appointment.
Exercise: Bought myself a yoga DVD. Now I can do more yoga than I was before. I’ve been terrible at walking. But I have been doing planks about 2-3x a week, that counts right?
Maternity clothes: About the same – All jeans and pants have been switched. My leggings are starting to feel snug. But they’ll do until spring – bring on the maxi skirt!!!
Sleep: Meh, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I’ll take whatever I get and I’ve learned this is a new normal, and I’m ok with that.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have… I guess I love any and all fruit (can’t get enough of it) and I LOVE me come baby carrots and salads right now…. But I don’t CRAVE it.
Symptoms: Still some lingering nausea here and there. Forgetful, clumsy, dizzy (so bad), tired, and of course the usual.
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now the size of an avocado measuring just over 4 inches long and weighing just over 2.5 ounces. It’s wiggling around testing out its new range of motion in the arms and legs, sucking his/her thumb, and practicing swallowing. I find all these little tidbits simply amazing. Little one’s heart rate is still consistently in the high 150’s and low 160’s. Usually landing around 161bpm.
Movement:  *same* I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss: Having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper. Clear skin. Today is the first day I’ve really thought about wine and how it seems like it’s been a really long time since I’ve had a glass. I don’t miss it, but I guess today I would say it sounds nice.
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels. Also, how quickly my nails are growing. All the new quirks my body is doing. It seems like everyday I notice something new now.
What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling movements and knowing the gender…..I can’t wait to see babe at the end of the month….. and buying ALL THE BABY THINGS.
Baby Purchases: We did it. We purchased wipes and diapers. But, right now we are working on getting some house stuff done and ready for little one’s appearance first, then we’ll focus on actual baby items needed.
Best moment this week: Noticing a big change in the appearance of my stomach. Ok, well at least to me it looks like it’s changed quite a bit. Also sending out invitations to a….. Gender Reveal party….. EEEEEP.
Hello 15 weeks! Be kind to me, please:
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Ever Be

Your love is devoted like a ring of solid gold
Like a vow that is tested like a covenant of old
Your love is enduring through the winter rain
And beyond the horizon with mercy for today

Faithful You have been and faithful you will be
You pledge yourself to me and it’s why I sing

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips
Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips

You Father the orphan
Your kindness makes us whole
You shoulder our weakness
And Your strength becomes our own
You’re making me like you
Clothing me in white
Bringing beauty from ashes
For You will have Your bride

Free of all our guilt and rid of all our shame
And known by our true name and it’s why I sing

You will be praised You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord
You will be praised You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord

This song has been stuck on repeat in my car (at my desk, getting ready in the mornings…etc) for a few weeks now. I’d like to think of it as my newest anthem. With all the fear and anxieties I’ve felt over the last few months it’s a beautiful reminder of how incredibly faithful He has been. Through loss, through trial, through sorrow and sadness, through joy and victory. He has been so incredibly faithful and deserving of all of my praise. My one and only desire (above all else, including pregnancy, family, work, etc) is to continually be in a state of having His goodness on my lips. That the words I speak and the words I choose would directly reflect Him. Shamefully, sometimes I am no good at this, and that’s why I love His grace. It’s sufficient to cover my shortcomings. Anyway, the video isn’t of great quality. If you love it, I highly encourage you to purchase the CD that I heard it on.

We Will Not Be Shaken – Bethel Music ( you can watch their newest video of this song and others like it on this website)

It’s wrecked me and it’s brought on some amazing moments of worship.

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I’m not sure that I have anything fun/amazing to report about my week other than we’ve made it through another week. Ha! I’m not sure if I’m stoked at how boring our lives are right now, or if it’s bothersome. What I find super interesting is with how busy I’ve felt, I don’t have anything fun/major/exciting/sad to report.

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I think that this is a super accurate description of the type of fun we’re having at the Brooks’ home. That and finishing off the Parenthood Series Finale then getting sucked into far too many episodes I care to admit each night of the Black List – Don’t spoil it we’re still in season 1. Once we finish a round of a Black List binge I finally claim to be tired, then my body plays a cruel, mean, terrible joke on me. I lay down – BAM… It must be PARTY TIME..

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Or this:

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I must be on a Minion kick again. I just can’t help it, sorry.. But, not really.

OK, really…. Here’s the real scoop on the biggest happenings in our home…

Next appointment: End of February (17 weeks) – This will include an ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I am up 5 pounds max *I think*. To be honest I am not tracking this very well… First of all our scale at home sucks. If I look at my medical charts they ONLY have my pre-pre pregnancy weight and I was much thinner when we discovered I was pregnant for the first time (almost 2 years ago, and right after getting married, hello honeymoon body haha). I’ve decided that I really hate commenting on this subject, but I also realize I don’t want to forget the changes my body made. I believe my pre-pregnancy weight (for THIS pregnancy) was around 116.8lbs and today (I usually weigh myself on Friday’s) my first step on the scale said 119.8lbs and then the second step said 121.2lbs or something. So perhaps I may ONLY start making weight comments at each OB appointment. I’m not sure yet.
Exercise: Yoga, and I’m making an effort to do more stairs and walk more as much as possible! After the issues with my back (it’s getting 10000X better) I have been cleared for squats and planks! So I am adding this, on occasion, to my morning routine or bedtime routine.
Maternity clothes: About the same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. My jeans have been swapped for leggings and on days that I need actual pants I do wear low/small panel maternity pants/jeans. Most of my tops are fine still, however I do have a little bit more a tummy (and boobs, let’s be real) to fill them out more.
Sleep: I think I’ve reach a turning point. Over the last week my sleep has improved SO much. Although it takes me a little longer to fall asleep, once I’m asleep I’m out. I hope this pattern continues. Now I just need to not love my bed so much in the mornings.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have. But I will say, at least once or twice a week I REALLY want a bean and cheese burrito from Taco Bell. However, it’s not too often that we actually give in to that craving.
Symptoms: I’m feeling a million times better this week. Perhaps I may be human again? The nausea is few and far between and totally remedied with a piece of gum, the sleep is better, the bloat isn’t so awesome, HA! The mood swings…. I’m doing so much better at controlling them, YAY! I’m learning that I’m more forgetful… But most times I forget that I’m getting forgetful and don’t write things down or remember where I put something important…
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I’m beginning to have more energy, but I do find I get winded a little more quickly and tired faster than usual. Ugh, let’s just not even talk about my skin (oh yeah, I need to ask my mom to send me some more samples… thanks for the reminder). But, as far as I can tell I think just maybe I’m just having a good week symptom wise. I hope it sticks!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now the size of a Lemon measuring around 3.5 inches long and weighing just over 1.5 ounces. It’s wiggling around, sucking his/her thumb, and learning to swallow. I find all these little tidbits simply amazing. When I measured out how long 3.5 inches was I realized that babe would take up the length of the palm of my hand (yeah I have little hands). Amazing. Babe’s heart rate is still consistently in the high 150’s and low 160’s, but it also depends what time of day we take a listen.
Movement:  I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss: Colton. I know I say Colton every week. But it’s true. He’s always on my mind – especially lately. I also miss having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper.
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Ok, maybe I’m the only who really truly notices when it doesn’t get done. I couldn’t be more thankful for a husband who has really loved me well lately and has taken on the majority of the house-hold chores. I mean seriously. There is something about walking in the door after working (on occasion 9+ hours) and seeing that the house is clean and vacuumed and the laundry is done and folded and put away. The bonus: lately even dinner has been ready for me 🙂
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels. Also, how quickly my nails are growing. All the new quirks my body is doing. It seems like everyday I notice something new now.
What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling movements and knowing the gender…..I can’t wait to see babe at the end of the month….. and buying ALL THE BABY THINGS.
Baby Purchases: Truthfully I am not sure that I’ve actually purchased anything since getting pregnant. I had purchased things while we were waiting, but today I got a text from my Love and he suggested we go start our diaper stash. My sister was super generous and gifted us her crib, and Ergo baby wearing carrier thing, and a bunch of other accessories. We have also been gifted a few books and toys. This stuff totally just blesses me and makes me realized how loved this little one is. Blows me away, every.single.time.
Best moment this week: Using my Doppler and realizing that baby is wiggling away too much to catch the heartbeat for very long. We end up trying to follow it around across my tummy, but we’ll hear it, then babe moves. Also with the Doppler you can pick up the sounds of it kicking. Kills me, every time. I love it.
Today I am now 14w1d, but I took my silly bump/selfie pic yesterday. And of course it showcases the lovely stripped black and gray dress. That has become my Thursday outfit. Soon enough, once the weather changes it will be a maxi skirt and a fun top I’m sure.
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Allllll of this to say:

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips
Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips

He is worthy of it all. No ifs ands and or buts about it. It’s ONLY because of him I have the honor to experience any of this. I’m not deserving of it, I didn’t do anything to earn it, and I certainly will not take any credit for this tiny little life. It’s all because of Him, all to Him I owe.

Also, I could have sworn there was something else I REALLY wanted to share, but I can’t remember.. So maybe we’ll get lucky and next week I’ll have TWO blog posts!