Make it Last, For a Hundred More Years…

A diamond ring and twelve red roses
Everything she ever wanted
All those dreams and now they’re finally here
She’s so young and he’s so perfect
They waited for love and it was worth it
She wants to feel like this for a hundred years

All this life still yet to live and they can hardly wait
They can laugh
They can cry
The future looks so beautiful and bright
They can dance under the moonlight
‘Cause God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And she wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years

She’s got blue eyes just like her mother
Three years old, he’s crazy for her
He wants to freeze this day before it disappears
She’s spinnin’ like a little princess
Makin’ sure he’s gonna notice
He could watch her twirl for a hundred years

She’ll grow up and she’ll leave home but until that day
They can laugh
They can cry
The future looks so beautiful and bright
They can dance under the moonlight
‘Cause God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And he wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years

And its only time
But it flies right by
And today is sweeter than we know

And so they dance under the moonlight
While God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And they want to stay right here
For a hundred more years

Our wedding day was quite possibly one of my most favorite days I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. This song was what we chose for me and my Daddy to walk down to meet my man at the altar.

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This song couldn’t be a better description of what we wanted life to look like, what we wanted it to feel like. So far, it does feel like that. Some of these big life moments we’ve gotten to share make me want our minutes and our days to last a hundred more years. There are certainly some  experiences that I wish would never end… You know, those days where your heart is so content it could explode? We’ve been really lucky and had a lot of those moments. I know I’ll never forget the moments we want to quickly end, or fly by with exponential speed… But those aren’t the moments that fill you. They are certainly purposeful and meaningful. But moments that are full, that make you want to stay right where you are, those are what get us through some of the tough stuff.

Yesterday was one of those days.

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Yesterday was one that I never imagined I would get to see.

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Yesterday was one of those days where the love I am capable of feeling grew to an immeasurable size.

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Yesterday was a game changer for me.

RPL (repeat pregnancy loss) can really mess with someone. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it robs a lot from you and you have to fight tooth and nail to get it back. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it. Part of this is not feeling “connected” to a pregnancy. I wouldn’t dare say that I didn’t love this babe before yesterday, but I can you right now, it’s not even close to the same love I feel today. It’s different. It’s less guarded. It’s less fear-driven. It’s less scary. To be fully honest, I don’t even know how to explain it correctly so that anyone who reads this understands the before and after “feelers”. Today, I finally feel more connected, more like a unit of oneness. Yeah, the pictures are kinda creepy looking, but also so freaking cute I could stare all.day.long. But it finally sank in that this thing on a picture will become a tiny human in the outside world (Lord, willing). This little thing I keep starting at has flipping kidneys?!? I watched as its little heart pumped away in different chambers, I watched this little tiny person sleep snuggled up to the placenta like it was a soft pillow. It has personality, and is practicing things that it will continue to learn once here, in our arms.

Surreal. I don’t even understand it, and I won’t even try to. I simply cannot comprehend how this was woven together so delicately.

“And she wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years”

Next appointment: End of March (21 weeks) – This will include the full anatomy ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I officially hate this question….. So, I was WAY wrong. Since pre-pregnancy I am up a total of 9 pounds. I thought this was a lot, but the nurse said that it was well within normal… YIKES, no matter how prepared you think you are to watch the scale move UP, it still stings a little when you see a weight you’ve never weighed before in your life. I guess the good part is from my last appointment to this appointment ( 4 weeks in between ) I gained a small 3 pounds 🙂
Exercise: I’ve been bad. I haven’t done anything in like a week and a half. But I plan on popping in that Yoga DVD soon, I’ve convinced the hubster to join in on my bendy movements.
Maternity clothes: Same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. Mostly normal tops (although I’ve noticed they’re starting to roll up on occasion haha). Pants/leggings/skirts all maternity. Especially at the end of the day!
Sleep: Meh. sometimes ok, sometimes not.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have. I’m still having a love obsession over fruit and veggies! WIN!
Symptoms: Tired. Headaches, oh my gosh the headaches. They turn into full-blown migraines about 3-5 times a week. Dizzy, lots of dizzy. Growing a belly!!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now measuring about 6 inches long and weighing just over 5 ounces. Babe was measuring 3 days big at 17 weeks 2 days (while I was 16+6). During his/her sleepy time (aka my ultrasound) the heart rate was 152. But once I was in to see the new doc/midwife babe’s heart rate bumped back up to 156. The placenta is in perfect position, the cervix was perfect. And…… baby is officially a he or a she 🙂
Movement:  *same* I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss:  I miss my skin…. I don’t want to look like an acne-prone teenager anymore. I also miss having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper, although I have noticed I’m getting better, I think. That might be a better question for my man to answer, haha! Although I only ever drink decaf coffee, I’ll admit the extra boost of sugar in the mornings can be a nice pick-me-up!
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What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels and looks. I’m loving that I *think* I’m feeling more and more movement. Love the fact that my belly is progressively getting larger and larger!
What I’m looking forward to:  Knowing that what I’m feeling is movements and knowing the gender… I hear that I’m having a party this weekend, a party where I’ll get KNOW who has taken up residence in this body of mine. I hear that there will be lots of things both purple and blue (I know, I’m not a huge pink fan). I.can’t.wait.
Baby Purchases:  My bestie Amber was super generous and gave us some gifts recently. I was proud I didn’t actually cry cry, I only got all welled up and almost cried. It was super thoughtful and super generous!
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It has bath stuff, lotion, teething rings, a toy (picked out by her amazing 4-year-old), q-tips, and some other fun miscellaneous items. I love it! They also gifted us a TON of bottles! Yippe!!! Starting the stash early. I couldn’t be more thankful for friends and family that is supporting us on this journey and excited to love on this little one!!!
Best moment this week: My ultrasound. Also, my first midwife appointment. It is still within the same practice I was at, just different people with different goals and more interested in the birthing experience I WANT instead of what works for them. I was THRILLED to have had an amazing appointment, incredibly thorough and she was super awesome. Also, we had a double date night. I’d been craving PF Changs lettuce wraps for WEEEEEEEKS, and I finally got them. It was a fun night with some of our most favorites!
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Hello 17 weeks, I’m excited you’re here and thankful that I’ve been blessed to experience everything this far! Keep your eyes out for our “What will Baby Brooks Bee” announcement!
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17 thoughts on “Make it Last, For a Hundred More Years…

  1. I am so happy that baby and you are both doing so well! And I am thrilled that you are starting to believe that this little one is really happening and things are becoming much more real!! I am so excited for you, and for the enjoyment and love that you will undoubtedly feel as you let your guard down.

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  2. Love the wedding picture – and you are looking so cute with your belly! I had acne issues in both of my pregnancies, too. It sucks that there is nothing you can really use for it! I did use this stuff from the Belli skin care line that is safe for pregnancy – it helped, not a ton, but it was an improvement. Also, lemon juice on the skin works wonders 🙂

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    • I think my wedding pics are my most fav pics of the two of us, ever! And I love that pic I posted of my and my daddy. That was a special moment, for sure!! I’ll have to check out Belli Skin Care and try the lemon juice!

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    • Aren’t the wraps just simply amazing. I will say, they do taste different than the last time I had them (pregnancy maybe?) and the sauce was a bit more spicy than usual… When did they stop mixing the sauce in front of you, too? I was slightly disappointed, but it definitely cured my craving.. And it was still delish! Hope you are getting some good rest before the arrival of your little one!! XOX

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  3. Oh i’m so happy for you that its sunk in. 17 weeks is so so awesome! you are looking wonderful!
    i think that is one day I would go back and repeat if I could – my wedding day. it flew by so fast but the feelings of just being so incredibly happy was an incredible feeling!

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