As I was snuggled up on the sofa chatting with my mother-in-law our conversation turned to our constant state of waiting.
We wait to grow up.
We wait for the “right one”.
We wait for a career.
There are a million things we wait for. We may wait for a day. We may wait for a week. But usually we’re always waiting for something. On this particular day we were all waiting for the arrival of a new little one. The one who was most tasked in waiting was the momma. But as we were chatting about waiting she said something that struck me, in her waiting- was she one that was waiting well. In her waiting was she becoming discontent in not having the control? In the wait was she being patient in the carefully thought out plans the Lord has already purposed?
I am not ashamed to admit I had not waited well for many things in my life. I tried to force relationships that weren’t meant to be, I had gone my own way and played by my own rules simply because I was not willing to wait well. I was not trusting that in my wait that His plans were, in fact, greater.
When I re-dedicated my life over to the Lord, He had refined my moments of wait and because of my obedience I could clearly see that some of my waiting was over. I reconnected with the man I would marry, I was freed from lots of baggage that I’d been waiting for closure… Many things I’d waited on were supplied. I learned to wait well, because I know that in the wait the reward was better than what I could have planned for myself. I waited well until it came down to having a family and waiting for our take home baby. Often times I had longed to take the wheel and do things my way( type of fertility treatments, trying again after loss), I was even tempted to walk away from something I desired and something I knew God had planned for me…us. My wait was not done well. I kicked and screamed and went through refinement after refinement (loss after loss, obstacle after obstacle). I will even admit that I did not wait wait well during pregnancy. I was impatient and irritable. I wanted to rush things simply due to my lack of trust in the body God gave. A mantra and prayer of thanksgiving I often repeated (even if I didn’t feel it) was a simple prayer of thanking Him for a healthy and strong body. I complained not only to the Lord but my husband. My wait was sloppy at best.
But as I sit here reflecting on my wait, I can tell you this: every moment of siting was worth it. Every tear, every scream, every fight, every loss, every impatient plan that fell through and every prayerfully considered treatment option- it was worth it. I’m hoping if we happen to walk down the path of trying for a sibling- that I will have learned to wait well – for the reward is precious! And far better than I could have planned myself!
Don’t get me wrong- I am painfully aware that not all stories end like mine. Not everyone gets a baby at the end of the story, not everyone gets the perfectly desired outcome from a season of waiting. But, whatever you are waiting for, are you waiting well?