8 Weeks!

You don’t give Yourself in pieces, You don’t hide Yourself to tease us.

Dear Crosby,

One of my favorite songs to sing to you right now is “Jesus loves me”. Except, I’ve changed “me” to “you”. If there is one thing I want you to always know is His reckless, crazy, radical love for you. Yes, you. It will never change. It will never fade, it will never cease. It’s pure, it’s perfect, it’s all you’ll ever need. I need you to know that. Your momma didn’t learn it for a quite some time and I spent far too much time looking for it. He will love you far better and far longer and with perfection for the rest of your days.

You’ve changed my life, you’ve challenged me. You’ve shown me my imperfections and selfishness. You’ve taught me how to love, you’ve taught me how to laugh at the really hard things. You’ve taught me how to hold my tongue. Most importantly you’ve shown me how to love your daddy better too. You’ve shown me how to prioritize and truly know what is important, what can wait, and how to cherish the moments that are passing far too fast.

Each day I hold you and you’ve changed, you’re bigger, you’re stronger, you’re smarter. And one day, you wont need me. One day you might not want me. So, I’m gonna hold you close and pray over your tiny little body, your tiny little mind and your tiny little heart –  one day you won’t be so tiny and I’ll still be praying.

He loves you, Crosby. I don’t want either of us to ever forget that.

He is for YOU.

Love you always…


Crosby’s Likes: He still loves his boobies. Seriously, this kid is a true oinker and his weight it finally showing it. He’s gaining on average almost 2 oz a day which is perfect! He is just shy of 12 lbs now and starting to get a few rolls. We happen to have a long baby! He is now 24 inches long, that’s 3 inches in length since birth! No wonder this boy loves his sleep. Unless he’s beyond tired then… we don’t sleep. We cry. All of us. We all cry.

We’ve recently introduced a flexible schedule and he is now eating every 3 hours unless he happens to be hungry earlier. He is responding fantastically to our new routine, and I’m happy that we are all starting to get a little more sleep! Having a consistent schedule has made a huge impact on his fussiness and his reflux. He has always been generally happy but now he’s just incredibly sweet and snuggly and all smiles 90% of the time! He takes a bottle (breast milk) well, however it’s incredibly rare that he receives a bottle (maybe once every couple of weeks?). So, for the most part we are exclusively breast-feeding. We did run into a reflux issue which we have narrowed down to a milk/dairy protein sensitivity. The LC said it is most likely temporary but for now, it means this momma has pulled out all the stops to make sure my diet is in check (I’ve tried cheating, just look at the bags under my eyes today for the proof that cheating is just not worth it, for me or Crosby), I’ve also gained some great positions for burping him, holding him, and nursing him. So, overall we’ve seen a HUGE improvement, although I’m pretty sure we do more laundry than anyone I know cause he still spits up pretty frequently.

Improvement – He loves bath time now! YIPPY! However he doesn’t like being chilly afterwards so we rush to get him dressed! He especially loves baths with me 🙂

Crosby’s Dislikes: Waiting for food 🙂 Gas pains, reflux. He doesn’t like it when things hurt (I don’t blame him one bit, and its usually always my fault when the reflux is bad… poor baby).

Crosby’s Milestones/Development: Crosby can hold his head up very well, he is batting at his little friends that hang from his activity mat, he loves to smile and coo and squeak and squawk at himself in a mirror and also back at me or his daddy. He is incredibly conversational. He tracks things with his eyes and turns to look at noises from different directions. He is doing very well with all the milestones he should be meeting. I couldn’t be more proud. I love that I can see something new that he’s learned every day! It’s amazing!

Nicknames: Chunk-a-muffin, peanut, bubs, boyfriend, sweetpea!

Weight: Just shy of 12 pounds!

How’s Momma?: I am 100% healed and back to my normal self. I am not down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but in due time, I’m sure! We still have our occasional latch issues (usually when we try to introduce a binki), I probably pump after feedings about 3-4x a week, and its usually just 1-2x a day. So not very often and because it’s after nursing I usually only get an extra ounce or two max. I am still struggling with a postpartum headache, some days are better than others, so perhaps it’s on its way out! I hope! I still worry about my supply but I choose to trust in the wet and dirty diaper rules and based on his weight I think I produce just enough to keep my baby happy and healthy.

Breast-feeding has been by far the biggest obstacle and hardest thing we’ve done together. I’ve been determined to continue and each passing week we achieve milestones and are successful. Each week we get better and better. Even though it’s been incredibly hard – it’s been worth every single tear and struggle. I am still just as passionate about it today as I was before I even started. I’m proud of the hard work we’ve put in and it’s clearly paying off!

Some days I find myself struggling, especially when I realize I haven’t showered or spent any time alone in a few days, or on days when my best effort is changing my clothes and brushing my teeth. I think it’s all normal, each new momma has to find her balance and routine. Because he can be considered a little needy, or “hard” to some it just took us a little longer to find our flow. I’m very thankful for the time I’ve been able to take off work and spend my days with him and learn together. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

8 weeks flew by! I just can’t even believe it. Over the last 4 weeks I also became an auntie again!! Yippy! I love being an auntie! He is just perfect!

Cousins, exactly 6 weeks apart!

Today, my sweet sweet Grandpa starts chemo. If you are the praying type be praying for him, the family, for healing, for strength. He has a long road ahead of him and we all hope this gives him more time to spend with family and enjoying time with the ones he loves!

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month!!!!!!

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