Happy (belated) Thanksgiving Family and Friends!! I hope you enjoyed time with your loved ones and had your fill of yummy food and tasty treats!
As I previously wrote about I had my final beta which came back at a beautiful big fat negative. I was relieved that things were back to square one and I could move on. A week later (this last Monday) I was able to go in and visit with my Midwife. She was loving, kind, and incredibly caring. Her sensitivity was perfect. Her concern and care for my heart was very motherly. She is who delivered my son and so she’s very familiar with our story and medical history. She was incredibly thorough and we went back and discussed all of my RPL blood results from 2014 to ensure there wasn’t a missing piece. Sure enough it seems like most of our pieces were covered and she highly suggests waiting a few months to try again. And when we’re ready, she also suggests that we do not try naturally.
Back to SRM (Seattle Reproductive Medicine) we go. I’m devastated to know that my RE, whom I adore, is leaving the practice in January and moving to another state and whole other clinic. I was hoping to get in before he left for a little chit chat and baseline. But, I just don’t think any of this is in the cards for us financially at the moment. So, we’ll be on an indefinite break until we can find some extra wiggle room in our budget or I have a chance to call our new insurance and see what is covered. I’m marginally ok with this. I have a million conflicted feelings in regards to attempting another baby. And a really large part of my heart is slowly entertaining the idea of Crosby being an only biological child. Perhaps even just an only child in general. I’m thankful for the amount of peace I have with this whole situation.
I am slightly disappointed that because of RPL I am now not a firm candidate for the birth center that allows for early release to go home. This new birth center opened about 3 weeks after Crosby was born and I had desires to deliver there in the future. But after our conversation she said that typically in circumstance like mine they prefer more monitoring. But, they might wiggle the rules for me since my previous labor was textbook perfection. I had minimal checks/monitoring. It was medication free and a spontaneous labor. So I have confidence that if I have any subsequent babes the labor will be similar. Which that alone makes me a great candidate for this birth center. So, we’ll cross that bridge when/if we get there. But for now, I at least can still see my midwife after 12 weeks or whenever the RE releases me.
My hubby feels as though there might be another biological babe for us in the future, but I haven’t really had that same ah-ha moment. Or feel like there’s really much of a promise of more kids. All I know is sometimes I feel like there is one more babe to love. There’s one more to be had. Who knows. Our “feelings” aren’t necessarily very accurate or trust worthy. Especially when it comes to RPL or infertility.
Hopefully everyone is enjoying left over turkey and pie! 💙