Rainbow baby Kobe Jae ❤
Friday night after taking some bump shots I took some Tylenol pm since hubby was home that night and taking over nighttime stuff with Crosby.
I went to bed with mild cramps and slept pretty darn good – better than I had in weeks, but I was woken multiple times with cramps. Around 4am on Saturday September 23rd I couldn’t sleep through them anymore and HAD to get up and walk around, pace, and support myself against the counters. I was so annoyed and frustrated, I had assumed this was, yet again, another round of prodromal labor. But then they got timeable and were around 5-6 minutes apart and eventually creeping closer to 4 minutes apart. Around 530am I let connor know that I thought maybe this could be it but I wasn’t sure. Sure enough things fizzled out around 730a after eating and doing some hands and knees (I had a suspicion he could have not been in the most optimal position) and resting. So by 730a we all got up got ready for the day, and I still had light cramps on and off. Our morning consisted of a trip to target, extra large coffee’s and oatmeal for me, then we took bubba to the park! It was the most perfect family morning I could have asked for.
I was still cramping on and off all morning and was continuously getting more and more frustrated. I was just feeling so tired and sooo annoyed. Once we got home our day continued as usual – lunch, nap, etc. Once Crosby was down for a nap I noticed my cramps had turned into light contractions again but around 7-10 minutes apart. At this rate I was so frustrated. So, my doula and I got on the phone and had a really good chat and I was able to get a good cry in. We talked about my fears, my frustrations, and the things I may or may not be up for to try and stimulate more regular contractions. After Crosby went down for nap I suggested sex then Connor and Crosby can go run the rest of the errands after his nap – and I hoped for a nap. When they left (around 330ish) BAM – my contractions started up again and were very intense. They were roughly 3-5m apart. But I was fine between and some weren’t even that bad. I was still in denial but called Sarah (my doula) and she decided to come over to just check on me. While she was here (got here at 430p-ish) they picked up in intensity some more but I kept complaining that this wasn’t even real blah blah blah. Once Connor got home I started accepting that maybe this might be it. Connor got the house put together and made arrangements for Crosby to be with family. Once Crosby was gone I was able to fully concentrate and the intensity became heavy! I finally decided I wanted to go in and be checked (just before 6pm) so that I could know/be convinced that this could really be labor (my doula had taken over timing things and said I was 2-3 minutes apart). It was almost as if my body was waiting for my brain to make the decision to be ok and involved in this process. As soon as we got in the car I was immediately in crazy active labor and was feeling nauseated. My only thought process was – “this feels like transition – I feel like I could throw up”. My ability to tolerate contractions in the car was very poor. I had possibly said a lot of explicit adjectives to describe the pain I was feeling. We got to Deaconess at 630p and as I walked into BirthWise, our birth center, I started stripping down my clothes and made my way to the bathroom with every intention of getting straight into the tub. Before getting into the tub my midwife checked me and I was 8cm!! I was completely shocked and finally fully convinced that this was it.
All pictures past this line are taken by the talented:
I immediately started working through fear and feeling scared of having another baby. My whole pregnancy I was terrified of the transition from one to two. I had spent so much time worried about how I would love another baby, how can I be a good mom to two… my doula and I spent many small conversations during the next 2 hours hashing this out. I was still very ok between contractions – laughing, singing, talking, asking questions. I spent the majority of my time in the tub then when I started getting pushy/ grunty with my contractions they had me get out (7:45ish).
I slowly made my way to the bed on my hands and knees and then reallllly got pushy.
So she had me flip onto my back and checked me again to make sure I was complete and I was. So they just let me push and do what I felt I needed. My birth team was amazing- there was never any limitations on how I wanted/needed to birth this baby. I started on my back and slowly made my way back onto my hands and knees. My body pushed on its own and it was much more intense than my labor with Crosby. It was primal, it was hard, it was explicit. I never imagined myself to be the one who “roars” her baby out – I was actually much more reserved and quiet when I delivered Crosby- but everything in me growled and hollered.
My water broke about 5-7ish minutes before he was born and while he inched his way through crowning I vividly remember all my fears shifting. My motivation to meet this new person was overwhelming, it was exciting, and intense, and full of wonder and… intensity….I looked at my doula and husband many times, exclaiming- this is it- I get to meet Kobe!!
As his head emerged and we worked on the shoulders my midwife saw that the cord was wrapped very tightly around his neck so my midwife had to reach in and wiggle it loose. THAT was the worst feeling in the world. I yelped in pain not fully knowing what was wrong yet – I actually assumed (my assumption was wrong) it was shoulder dystocia. A few pushes later (8:24p) the sweet relief of his entire being entering this world came as I reached down to grab my baby. However we laid him first on the bed. He was incredibly floppy and not able to cry/breathe when he came out – the nurse had started rubbing him vigorously but right as they were about to call the NICU team I asked If I could rub him and hold him and talk to him and he perked up and NICU didn’t need to come.
I kept talking to him and telling him that I was here, that mommas got him, that he could do it. They never took him from me, we were able to keep the cord intact and didn’t cut until it was finished pulsating.
There was no sweeter sound than his raspy little cry, no sweeter image than him peering his tiny little eyes around looking at my face. It was that moment I knew… he had been exactly what I needed and who I had been waiting for.
Kobe Jae Brooks
8lbs 5oz, 21” long
I am so greatful to know some amazingly talented people and friends. A beautiful friend of mine, Esther, captured some gorgeous pictures of my big ol’ belly with rainbow baby #2, Kobe Jae.
After receiving so many negative comments on my body shape and size this pregnancy I feel as though she made me believe just how gorgeous a babe in the belly is. What an honor it is to carry another babe.
Thank you sweet friend, I cherish this moment. Go check her out on FB too, her work is just stunning!
On August 6th you turned 2 years old. I couldn’t believe that I simply blinked and you are a walking, talking, fully capable little boy. You are no longer a baby. You have opinions and thoughts and desires and SO many busy plans.
I am continually in awe of your creativity. You can play for hours and you absolutely love trucks of every kind. You are curious, you love to examine things and study how they work and what it does. In preparation of your little brother you have taken up a love for “building” things with your own screws and hammer and drill. And the way you make up your own meals on your play kitchen – TO DIE FOR.
As I mentioned, you have opinions and when you wake up it’s like you just already know what you want for the day and how you are going to get it. It’s quite ambitious… but sometimes a little hard to negotiate with.
There is no greater task given to me, by God, than to be your momma. It is a privilege. It is rewarding and absolutely humbling. I cannot thank Him enough for the gift He gave me when He gave me you. There are not enough words to accurately express the way you have changed my life and the love I have for you, my son. I pray daily that God helps me to raise you in Him and always know that you belong to Him. I pray daily that you will always know the undying love He has for you.
We love you so much Crosby. We are proud of you and who you are becoming. Grow, bubba, Grow!!
Love you always,
Weight: Crosby was 30 pounds even at his 2 year well-child-check and he was just over 3ft tall.
Words: There was not a lot of activity in this department over the last 6 months, some new words popped up, but many words stayed the same. At his 2 yr check up we were given a referral for a speech evaluation. Upon evaluation they said that he is incredibly smart, he knows what he’s shooting for when trying to talk, and he is excellent at attempting to mimic sounds and words, but he’s just not quite there. They suggested once a week therapy for a while. After seeing what insurance does and doesn’t cover (hello deductible we haven’t met cause he’s so healthy, yay!) we may wait until January and see what we can accomplish at home.
Teeth: We have all the chompers, except the 2 yr molars. But the dentist said they are on their way! His teeth are perfect and I love that he loves to brush! Makes mornings and bedtime easier! (Electric toothbrush is seriously THE way to go!!)
Sleep/Naps: Wakes around 7/730a, nap around 12/1ish-pm and wakes between 230/3p and back in bed by 730pm on MOST days, All those times are a “give and take” 30 mins. Just depends on the day, the attitude, the quality of nap etc. But YAY, he still naps and it’s my sanity!
Nicknames: Bubba will probably stay forever. Chobby is used on occasion. And when he is naughty, I bring out the full name….