Fabu Friday!!

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I cannot tell you how happy I am that it is Friday. Seriously, this week has kicked my butt and then some! My family is still in our house after a few unexpected delay’s in their closing of their home in AZ, thus delaying the closing of the house here in town. We love having them with us, the house is loud, it’s messy, and I’m not sure when the last time I really (and I mean REALLY) cleaned the bathrooms and the kitchen, but it doesn’t matter, we’re making memories. However, I am exhausted. Seriously Exhausted.

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I’m super excited because next week is only a 2 day work week for me, the rest is vacation! Then the week of New Years Eve it’s only a 3 day work week and then vacation time! I. Can’t. Wait.

So, as promised, I snuck in a few more pics of little man, Christian. He is such a busy body, all boy, crazy, wild child that he is hard to snap pictures of.

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The crack one is my favorite. Is there anything more cute than a kiddo crack? Seriously, my fav!

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It’s getting cold in Spokane, but we surprisingly don’t have any snow yet. Maybe, JUST maybe for Christmas we’ll get a dusting of it, but so far winter has been pretty mild. I don’t mind, I hate driving in snow. I’m not bad at it, I just hate it. Actually, I dislike driving in general, so adding any type of elements to driving conditions isn’t my favorite.

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Ok, it’s not of little bubs, but this…. Heart Melted. Princess Elsa and Uncle C-Rad snuggle buggin’ on the sofa. Can’t forget little Olaf! He’s in there too.

**Ultrasound pictures and update below**

The Pops came over for dinner sometime this last week (don’t even try to ask me which day, I can’t remember) and we got a little head start on getting ready for our Christmas Eve services at church. The Pops and I are doing a little special song/duet thing. Nothing makes me more happy then singing with my dad plays along.

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This also gave me and the Hubs the perfect opportunity to share an early Christmas gift 🙂

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The joy was short-lived because a few days later I started experiencing some bleeding and heavy cramping. Because loss is the only thing I know, naturally I freaked a little and called my nurse first thing in the morning. I know spotting and cramping can be completely normal. However for me, all 2 of the 3 losses we’ve had started with spotting and cramping.

My RE got me basically as soon as I could get there and we did an ultrasound. I am still measuring ahead and the first words that came out of Dr. F’s mouth was: We actually have a heart beat! I’ve never once experienced the SOUND of a heart beat. I have seen one, with Colton, but I have never heard it. We actually got to HEAR the heart. I don’t think I will EVER forget what that sounds like. Ever.

I got two souvenirs from my emergency visit:

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As we get closer and closer to the time frame that we know when Colton’s heart stopped, I have loads of anxiety and, battle frequently, thoughts of despair and hopelessness. I spend a lot of energy during my day choosing to be hopeful and constantly praying for peace and less fear. So the reassurance, and flexibility of my RE to calm my crazy brain is by far the greatest gift.

I’ve realized I’ve been pretty vague about where I am actually at. I am actually 6 weeks 6 days TODAY from my LMP, however at my u/s I was 6w4d and measured at 7 weeks. However, further measuring he said I was still only measuring a day a head.

It’s still so early. Sometimes I have little moments of fear for sharing, but I promised myself I wouldn’t ever censor myself or keep secrets on the blog. This blog is about real life, my relationship with Jesus, and being honest about the good, the bad and the ugly.

So, there ya have it!

HAPPY FREAKIN’ FRIDAY!!!

Freaky Friday? Oh my!

 

 

Freaky Friday?

Well, I’m a day late! But holy cow, I promise I have good excuses. Ok, well maybe not. Work was busy, and I have freaky-ness to share that consumed my after-work hours. As I mentioned in my previous post, there hasn’t been much going on to share. I try to snap a picture as often as possible, but somehow time just keeps flying by. My heart is still constantly thankful and being intentional about my uphill climb has made such a huge difference for me.

So I’m feeling like this accurately, and graphically, shows how my week went. Or more precisely, our Friday. WIN for my Friday: I wasn’t late for work.

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Isn’t that the truth? I’m so glad I am adaptive enough to go with the flow and be ok with what happens.

In the middle of my day I got an unexpected visitor(s). B brought little Peanut by to give me a super thoughtful gift:

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 I love flowers, like LOVE flowers.

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Anyone who really knows me, knows I love me some flowers. I especially love the little one who has such a big heart to give and give and give! I am so overwhelmed with such generosity!! LOVE them, and THANK you Peanut and B.

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My great idea: defrost chicken in a freezer bag in the fridge. Figured that would be sufficient. HAHAHA, I was wrong. Mid afternoon I get a text from the hubs that chicken juices had devoured our entire fridge. He spent the next hour cleaning out said fridge. Throwing away a good portion of food that had been contaminated (thanks babe, seriously!). This was also shortly before he had realized he left his wedding ring at work 30 minutes away. Haha, poor dude. I offered to pick it up on my way home, but he declined.

Once I got home from work it was time to cook. Dinner was going to be a yummy bread-less chicken parmesan – with the chicken that had caused the mess earlier. Although it made a mess, it was still good to eat and cook up, still cold just a leaky bag. Easy enough, right?

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Yeah, apparently my Pyrex dish didn’t feel cooking anything tonight. Shattered right in the oven. leaked all the juices from the chicken, making a huge mess of glass pieces and well, chicken. Lots have asked if the dish was cold or something, nope. It was room temp with just normal chicken.

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Shortly after we decided that it was a Taco Bell night. Yeah, not a healthy choice, but after the hassle, it wasn’t worth it to start over and defrost more chicken…etc.

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Taco Bell it was. It was good. Better than glass with a side of chicken, right? Ps: the green sauce from Taco Bell, my favorite!

When the hubs was on his way home from picking up his ring, he stopped at the store for a couple of items, I asked for pickles…. Well, I certainly got some pickles!! HAHA, 80FL ounces worth of pickles! The hubster knows me too well!

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So once we wrapped up the night with a little Taco Bell and a whirlwind of a day, I decided Saturday would be a “lay in bed and snuggle with the furry friends day”.

So, lap top in hand, HGTV playing renovation shows, this girl is snuggled in with a drama (hopefully, attempting chicken pot pie tonight) free Saturday trying to catch up from the crazies of Friday.

 

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I think my furry friends were ok with a Fabu “Saturday” instead.

Have a Happy Weekend!!

Fabu Friday!

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Another week has passed. And I’m telling you, it typically surprises me when it comes but this time I feel like it took a million years forever for Friday to get here. Dragging on and on and on……..

Last Friday, on our agenda, we had a pretty rad concert to catch. And let me tell you, it was rad! I feel like I finally found “my people”. When I lead worship at my church I typically don’t hold back. There is loads bouncing, jumping, and singing my guts out (usually until I am really out of breath). It’s so fun. Once Hillsong United came out, I discovered something….I’m telling you I BELONG WITH THEM! Haha, ok, I don’t think I could keep up with them, but man, it was so great. It was really an amazing night of worship (and entertainment).

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I am super thankful to have had the opportunity to go (allll thanks goes to my amazing boss).

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Huge difference…

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I can’t tell you how true I think this statement is. 🙂

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Happy (almost) Turkey/stuff your face full/eatwaytoomuchandfeelsicklater Day! If you guys have a large family or small group you might be starting the binge fest early. I know we are, festivities start Tuesday. I better bust out my leggings and stretchy pants now.

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This guy, Georgie, kills me. He has never ever snuggled me (or anyone for that matter) like this before. It was a glorious 20 minutes of snuggle time with my furry friend.

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This. This was my favorite part of the week. Ok, that’s a lie. I’m not a big fan of needles, at least it gets injected into the tush area where my eye balls cannot see how far the giant needle goes in, last time the hubs was a champ and did it flawlessly – this time the nurse did it, and I was bruised for days. I get weak just thinking about it. Anyway, triple lining of 8.5 and TWO follies of 17mm and 27mm (10,000 Novarel). I had some small little ones lingering around but nothing noteworthy or nearly mature enough to consider.

 TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m voting for twins. If I have a say, that’s what I want. Two for the price of one.

Ok, just kidding, but seriously, I’ll take what whatever He’s willing to give!

I think for the first time in our entire journey I am absolutely terrified of both outcomes. I soo want it to work but at the same time I am completely scared. I haven’t even really been able to clearly communicate the fear of either outcome. I think what might terrify me the most is a negative outcome or another chemical pregnancy. I’ve had two of those and 3 losses. But what’s equally terrifying is the possibility of actually achieving pregnancy again and get attached only for it to fail in weeks to come – and that’s only an assumption – it could also go perfectly. See I can’t even decide what’s worse, even though I was trying to.

So, what makes this Fabulous? Well, truthfully, I think it’s completely amazing that I (we – hubs and me) only have ONE responsibility. Have sex. 1, that is fabulous in itself and I don’t think that needs any explanation. 2, I have no control of the outcome. God, the author and creator of life, has all the control and a major plan for our life. Whether that includes children……or not. Ouch, maybe that’s what’s hard to really swallow…. Perhaps my desires and my idea of a family isn’t at all what He has planned. Some how that has to be ok, and right now, it’s only sorta ok. But regardless, its fabulous because this relieves me of all the pressure to perform. We just simply rest in the decisions and provisions and ride along waiting for direction/answers. Now THAT is Fabu! That is what Fabulous is all about, my friend!

Tonight, I get to have a slumber party with two girls, who happen to be my favorite, I hope they’re ready for pictures!

Have a Happy Friday!

Oh and in case you were wondering how many selfies it takes to get ONE good one in the car (don’t worry we were waiting in line at a coffee shop, not actually driving), here’s your answer:

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Fabu Friday!

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Holy Batman… How on earth is it Friday already? I am seriously baffled that it’s here already. I’m especially excited for today because we are going to the Winter Jam Concert tonight. I am super thrilled to get to worship and have the opportunity to watch some of my favs. I think I am most excited about Hillsong.

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I think I’ll start at the beginning. Last Saturday the sister and I decided to have some girl time and I ended up with some funky/fancy/sparkly nails. Just in time for the holidays. I may or may not keep them up, but it was a nice little pick me up.

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On Sunday morning I woke up early to get ready for church. But typically before I roll out of bed I try to check my email and pop on to some social media sites while my eye balls are waking up (if I have the time, that is). I woke up check the email and saw this:

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I am not sure I have the words to express my gratitude and thankfulness that someone would remember my little Colton and take action to do something meaningful for him. This melted me. Especially when I realized that not many people remember this kind of stuff. I don’t really expect people to, but it’s incredibly moving when someone makes an effort to remember and do something sweet in remembrance. Thank you, Sweet friend! (you can find her blog here)

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Pictured above is my Mug Exchange package that I was so blessed by! I’ve never really participated in such exchanges, but this year I was able to connect with SO many more woman who have been through what I  have been through and bless someone else with a fun package as well! Thank you SO much Lo (her blog is here) for giving so generously! Also thank you Chelsea for hosting and making sure everything was perfect!

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 I promised more pictures of the family that was in town. Once again I failed at taking loads of amazing pics, but I did happen to sneak in a few silly ones. Seriously, I can’t get enough of these kiddos. I lub them so much and I cannot wait for them to be here and I get more auntie time. Seriously though, is there anything better than being an auntie? I don’t think so…

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Many many of you already follow Elisha and know that recently she posted some funny facts about herself. Well in her comments I had mentioned one of my quirky facts: I hate all wooden utensils. And by hate, I mean, I cannot stand them. I do not own, nor will I ever own wooden utensils. GROSS. So about a day later I received this silly and disturbing text from her. That girl, she sure knows how to pull a prank and make this girl cringe a little. Once I battled the migraine I was able to giggle about it, however in the midst of a migraine, I wanted to shiver and cringe and delete it as fast as possible.

And because these were funny and cute, I’ll leave you with this:

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Seriously guys, it’s stinkin’ cold. Brrrr!

 

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Yup. Needs no explanation.

 

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This is me. Every.Single.Time. Poor Hubs.