Even When it Hurts Like Hell

Death never makes sense. Ever. Most often it doesn’t make sense when it’s unexpected, when it’s sudden. I’ve not experienced much death in my almost 28 years. I’m very lucky. The only true experiences I have are the death of the babies that wait for us in heaven. But, I can’t compare that to the loss of family. The emotions are dramatically different.

Several months ago we lost our sweet Grandma Judy. We knew it was coming, but it was hard nonetheless. It was expected, we had time to love on her and share some very sweet memories. This. This was sudden. Unexpected. Traumatic. A family member lost far too soon. He may have not been part of the “family” anymore due to divorce, but he’s still my nieces uncle by blood. There was still a relationship to be had. There were no severed ties. He’s still part of the whole picture.

Even then, I choose to sing His praise. We don’t understand. We might not ever understand. But I know that God is still good. I know that He is working and moving in ways that are yet unseen.

I’m continuously praying for comfort. Praying for direction. Praying for the little ones and his beautiful wife that are left with questions. That He’s holding their tears. That the comfort is never-ceasing from extended family and friends. That each one who is impacted by the loss feels held.

Don’t ever forget how valued your life is. No matter what you may be going through, the pain is never permanent. If you EVER need help, there is never any shame in reaching out. We’ve all needed help and support. You are valued, you are loved, your life always matters.

This week has been hard. June 2nd will hold a lot of special moments.

I’m really struggling with the idea of an update this week, so it will just cover the basics.

How far along: 31 weeks!! I am so thankful.

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Next Appointment: June 11th

Baby’s size/Milestones: Crosby is beginning his final preparations for delivery, as his senses are now intact, he continues to pile on that baby fat, and his immune system is nearly ready to fight and prevent illness all on its own. His brain and nerves continue to develop under his head, which is still very soft because the bones that make up the skull are not yet fused together so that he can pass as easily as possible through the birth canal. These soft spots, or fontanels, won’t fuse together to turn Crosby’s skull into one, solid piece, until he is about two, or a little younger. Crosby is growing more flexible in his neck and joints every day, so he is going to be making a lot of movements down there in the next two months. He might be close to 17 ½ inches tall, the size of a head of lettuce, and weighs over 3 ½ lbs.

What I love: My little man, growing a belly (most of the time), preparing for his arrival, celebrating his little life already! The hiccups I feel. The support and love that’s been shown to us!

What I’m looking forward to: I am looking forward to family and friends and church baby showers. I am looking forward to seeing the maternity pics. I am looking forward to how my body and mind start prepping for the home stretch. I am looking forward to organizing little man’s room and getting all his stuff ready for his arrival.

Best Moment this week: I had my first baby shower that my coworkers threw me. I was beyond blessed by it. I have incredibly generous coworkers. We were also UBER blessed by extended friends and family – the car seats were gifted to us. I cry every time we receive a gift. I am so blown away by people’s generosity and willingness to give. I’m usually left speechless.

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Oh – I also got a little peek at little man. Not great quality, but hopefully you can make something out of the fuzz.

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This is his profile and his hand is up at his mouth

Make it Last, For a Hundred More Years…

A diamond ring and twelve red roses
Everything she ever wanted
All those dreams and now they’re finally here
She’s so young and he’s so perfect
They waited for love and it was worth it
She wants to feel like this for a hundred years

All this life still yet to live and they can hardly wait
They can laugh
They can cry
The future looks so beautiful and bright
They can dance under the moonlight
‘Cause God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And she wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years

She’s got blue eyes just like her mother
Three years old, he’s crazy for her
He wants to freeze this day before it disappears
She’s spinnin’ like a little princess
Makin’ sure he’s gonna notice
He could watch her twirl for a hundred years

She’ll grow up and she’ll leave home but until that day
They can laugh
They can cry
The future looks so beautiful and bright
They can dance under the moonlight
‘Cause God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And he wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years

And its only time
But it flies right by
And today is sweeter than we know

And so they dance under the moonlight
While God is smilin’ down on them tonight
And they want to stay right here
For a hundred more years

Our wedding day was quite possibly one of my most favorite days I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. This song was what we chose for me and my Daddy to walk down to meet my man at the altar.

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This song couldn’t be a better description of what we wanted life to look like, what we wanted it to feel like. So far, it does feel like that. Some of these big life moments we’ve gotten to share make me want our minutes and our days to last a hundred more years. There are certainly some  experiences that I wish would never end… You know, those days where your heart is so content it could explode? We’ve been really lucky and had a lot of those moments. I know I’ll never forget the moments we want to quickly end, or fly by with exponential speed… But those aren’t the moments that fill you. They are certainly purposeful and meaningful. But moments that are full, that make you want to stay right where you are, those are what get us through some of the tough stuff.

Yesterday was one of those days.

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Yesterday was one that I never imagined I would get to see.

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Yesterday was one of those days where the love I am capable of feeling grew to an immeasurable size.

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Yesterday was a game changer for me.

RPL (repeat pregnancy loss) can really mess with someone. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it robs a lot from you and you have to fight tooth and nail to get it back. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it. Part of this is not feeling “connected” to a pregnancy. I wouldn’t dare say that I didn’t love this babe before yesterday, but I can you right now, it’s not even close to the same love I feel today. It’s different. It’s less guarded. It’s less fear-driven. It’s less scary. To be fully honest, I don’t even know how to explain it correctly so that anyone who reads this understands the before and after “feelers”. Today, I finally feel more connected, more like a unit of oneness. Yeah, the pictures are kinda creepy looking, but also so freaking cute I could stare all.day.long. But it finally sank in that this thing on a picture will become a tiny human in the outside world (Lord, willing). This little thing I keep starting at has flipping kidneys?!? I watched as its little heart pumped away in different chambers, I watched this little tiny person sleep snuggled up to the placenta like it was a soft pillow. It has personality, and is practicing things that it will continue to learn once here, in our arms.

Surreal. I don’t even understand it, and I won’t even try to. I simply cannot comprehend how this was woven together so delicately.

“And she wants to stay right here
Make it last for a hundred more years”

Next appointment: End of March (21 weeks) – This will include the full anatomy ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I officially hate this question….. So, I was WAY wrong. Since pre-pregnancy I am up a total of 9 pounds. I thought this was a lot, but the nurse said that it was well within normal… YIKES, no matter how prepared you think you are to watch the scale move UP, it still stings a little when you see a weight you’ve never weighed before in your life. I guess the good part is from my last appointment to this appointment ( 4 weeks in between ) I gained a small 3 pounds 🙂
Exercise: I’ve been bad. I haven’t done anything in like a week and a half. But I plan on popping in that Yoga DVD soon, I’ve convinced the hubster to join in on my bendy movements.
Maternity clothes: Same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. Mostly normal tops (although I’ve noticed they’re starting to roll up on occasion haha). Pants/leggings/skirts all maternity. Especially at the end of the day!
Sleep: Meh. sometimes ok, sometimes not.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have. I’m still having a love obsession over fruit and veggies! WIN!
Symptoms: Tired. Headaches, oh my gosh the headaches. They turn into full-blown migraines about 3-5 times a week. Dizzy, lots of dizzy. Growing a belly!!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now measuring about 6 inches long and weighing just over 5 ounces. Babe was measuring 3 days big at 17 weeks 2 days (while I was 16+6). During his/her sleepy time (aka my ultrasound) the heart rate was 152. But once I was in to see the new doc/midwife babe’s heart rate bumped back up to 156. The placenta is in perfect position, the cervix was perfect. And…… baby is officially a he or a she 🙂
Movement:  *same* I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss:  I miss my skin…. I don’t want to look like an acne-prone teenager anymore. I also miss having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper, although I have noticed I’m getting better, I think. That might be a better question for my man to answer, haha! Although I only ever drink decaf coffee, I’ll admit the extra boost of sugar in the mornings can be a nice pick-me-up!
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What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels and looks. I’m loving that I *think* I’m feeling more and more movement. Love the fact that my belly is progressively getting larger and larger!
What I’m looking forward to:  Knowing that what I’m feeling is movements and knowing the gender… I hear that I’m having a party this weekend, a party where I’ll get KNOW who has taken up residence in this body of mine. I hear that there will be lots of things both purple and blue (I know, I’m not a huge pink fan). I.can’t.wait.
Baby Purchases:  My bestie Amber was super generous and gave us some gifts recently. I was proud I didn’t actually cry cry, I only got all welled up and almost cried. It was super thoughtful and super generous!
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It has bath stuff, lotion, teething rings, a toy (picked out by her amazing 4-year-old), q-tips, and some other fun miscellaneous items. I love it! They also gifted us a TON of bottles! Yippe!!! Starting the stash early. I couldn’t be more thankful for friends and family that is supporting us on this journey and excited to love on this little one!!!
Best moment this week: My ultrasound. Also, my first midwife appointment. It is still within the same practice I was at, just different people with different goals and more interested in the birthing experience I WANT instead of what works for them. I was THRILLED to have had an amazing appointment, incredibly thorough and she was super awesome. Also, we had a double date night. I’d been craving PF Changs lettuce wraps for WEEEEEEEKS, and I finally got them. It was a fun night with some of our most favorites!
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Hello 17 weeks, I’m excited you’re here and thankful that I’ve been blessed to experience everything this far! Keep your eyes out for our “What will Baby Brooks Bee” announcement!
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Good Byes, Moods, and Squishy

It has been a very long week. A very long, exhausting week.

I’m not really sure where to start. We entered the weekend knowing that my Husband’s Grandma was not doing well and it progressed through the weekend. We spent a lot of time visiting her and seeing more and more of the family. On Monday while I was at work I got the phone call that it was probably a good day to come say our goodbyes. I finished up what needed to be done and bounced out of the office to go be with the family. When I got there she seemed to be doing better, although she was still in much pain and not really aware. I was and am so thankful for that time we got with her.

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It was a beautiful moment to watch a good portion of her grandkids (whom she loved with every single ounce of her being) sit with her and tell stories. Although Grandma wasn’t able to communicate with us, a few of her grunts were very obvious efforts at laughter. It was the most touching moment I have ever witnessed. I am so proud of my husband, his family, and his cousins. They are quite the spectacular bunch.

Come Tuesday Grandma was still fighting, but she finally went home to be with Jesus that afternoon. I am deeply saddened at losing a loved one and watching the family endure the pain of missing and losing a loved one, but I am also so incredibly thankful for her total and complete healing in heaven. No more pain, no more suffering. She’s free from sickness and free from this burdened world. I couldn’t be happier for her. She was a wonderful woman and her legacy will be carried for far more generations than I can count. She raised her kids right and loved her family well. I will always be the first to admit that even the comfort of knowing where she is doesn’t always make the sadness any easier. So I am constantly thinking and praying for the family.

I’ve been swamped at work (or so it feels), tired as can be, sicker than a dog, and trying my very best to keep up with blogs, the home, dinner, work, appointments, chores, errands, family get-together’s. So, that’s my excuse this week for being a tardy blogger. I’ve even contemplated stepping away from blogging/reading blogs just for a short time so that I can refocus and re-prioritize.

I’ve been going to the chiropractor twice a week for the last few weeks, we’ve discovered that most of my back pain I was experiencing was due to my actual pelvis being trapped/stuck together and unable to widen like it normally would during pregnancy. So we’ve been working on getting that freed up, only to find that my tailbone is actually twisted. So I’m thankful that I wasn’t just being a weenie when I was finding that my back was hurting more than what seemed like a normal annoying pregnancy thing.

The Hubs and I have been thoroughly enjoying our home Doppler. It’s been sooo good to us. Whoever tried to tell me that it would likely cause more stress than it’s worth was wrong. It’s been amazing. Especially since I took a nice spill down some stairs this week. I knew deep down everything was fine, but of course the tiny little voice of doubt crept in. It wasn’t like I went head first and tumbled. I fell backwards and my elbow took the majority of the beating, but I did land once on my shoulder then twice on my lower back. I thought for sure, at first, I broke my elbow since I hit it on tile flooring and heard a nasty crunch (it was just the metal piece that covered the transition between carpet and tile). But, all is well – I’m just a tad sore with a  few bruises. The next morning for reassurance I pulled out my Doppler and sure enough, whoosh, whoosh whooshing away was little Squishy.

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Speaking of little Squishy, I had my OB appointment, and let me tell you – it was a waste of time and money.

She used the Doppler, claimed to have heard the heart beat (which I didn’t even hear), asked how I was feeling, answered a couple of questions and sent me on my way. I had brought my husband along because last time I was in they said I would be getting an ultrasound… Well apparently not. I was not very happy about this. One – I wouldn’t have brought my husband along to talk about my bathroom habits and the nausea he is all too familiar with, two – she somehow acknowledged my anxieties but didn’t care that these things are a little stressful for me. Her compromise at first was to wait until I was 21 weeks to do the anatomy scan and since I was not too thrilled about waiting another 8 weeks to see what’s going on in there she said “Well, since you are a fertility treatment pregnancy we’ll do an extra scan at your next appointment”. So, basically 4 more weeks of waiting. Ok, ok, fine. Whatever…..  “Welcome to a normal pregnancy”. From where I stand, nothing will ever be normal. Never once have I sat in that OB waiting area and thought to myself that I am just another pregnant person. More often than not I don’t feel like I belong there.. Like I am some fake, or phony…. Doppler’s in a doctor’s office are still not my favorite (actually, seeing her Doppler today almost prompted me to run outta that room, scares me to death), ultrasounds, although they bring me MUCH relief, are not my favorite… Walking into that office takes every ounce of courage to forget the other hundreds of memories I have from those waiting rooms.

I am incredibly thankful that this is a seemingly normal and healthy pregnancy, but I refuse to completely forget the past I’ve experienced and I think it’s unreasonable to have anyone expect me to feel “safe” and “ok”. EVEN IF I have passed the major mile stones. I’m still learning to trust that my body isn’t going to kill my baby. Morbid, maybe. Realistic, yes.

Anyway, I’m off on a tangent….. Long story short, I had some unmet expectations today and it was a hard situation to deal with. I feel like my appointment could have been done over the phone and I wouldn’t have had to miss an hour and half (of mostly waiting mind you….) of work.

To add to the fiery tude I have today I will note: I have seen a major change in my mood the last few weeks. I believe I can blame some of this on the lovely hormones. I mean, hey! My Pregnancy App warned me that mood swings can be common. Apparently I thought I would be immune to that and not experience them. Haha, if only I were so lucky…. Let’s just say my tolerance level has decreased and my sensitivity increased, thus creating this little Mexican girl to go from 0-60 in no time flat. I don’t like it, I’m very aware of it, I’m doing my best to control it and learn my way through it. But, I’ve required a little more grace than usual… Just remember this next time I throw an eye roll your way 😉

Next appointment: End of February (17 weeks) – This will include an ultrasound, I double checked when checking out.
Total weight gain/loss: Definitely up something (like 2-4 pounds?) but I didn’t gain anything from my last OB appointment to this one.
Exercise: Yoga, and I’m making an effort to do more stairs and walk more as much as possible!
Maternity clothes: About the same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. My clothes are fitting weird now so I find that I’m in the “I look fat but can’t really tell that I’m pregnant” stage. My jeans have been swapped for leggings and on days that I need actual pants I do wear low/small panel maternity pants/jeans. They are more comfortable and should be available during non-maternity times as well. Whoever invented buttons and zippers failed us, big time.
Sleep: I need it. I crave it. Hmph. I mentioned my lack of sleep today, and she didn’t seem concerned… I think I average 3-4 hours a night… Not fun.
Food cravings:  Nothing… Gross, yuck, no thank you.
Symptoms: All the usual stuff and instead of getting better my body decided to trick me and now I am back to all day nausea, all day (minor) headaches, pretty intense fatigue. You know, the norm.
Movement:  TOO early…. The Dr suggested today that I will likely not feel anything until after viability (24 weeks).  I’m not even going to consider movement for a while.
What I miss: Colton. Sleep. Me.
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby
What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling movements and knowing the gender (End of March, unless we’re lucky and somehow they can sneak a peek at 17 weeks) and buying ALL THE BABY THINGS.
Best moment this week: I don’t really have a distinct best moment this week. I was looking forward to my appointment…. But now that that’s done, I can’t even say that was fun….. OOH, I know….. My boss and I were talking this morning and she said, ” I can see your baby”. That was a fun moment. Although I personally think I just look a little flubby! Haha!
So, 13 weeks….. Some say now is when the 2nd Trimester starts (some say 14 weeks)… So I am somewhere between the 1st and 2nd Tri…. yep, I wore the same dress (again) so I could compare, it’s just SOOO comfortable!
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The overwhelmed, but almost at peace Me – Oh and little Squishy :)

Once again another week has flown by. I don’t even know where time is going. Where the heck is that magical button to slow things down, just a little.

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I admit, I am not a huge fan of foul language, but I feel this adequately describes my brain function, sadly.

It was a sad sad day at the Brooks’, the Carolina Panthers lost to our home state team, the Seattle Seahawks. The hubs and I thoroughly enjoyed an oversized plate of nachos and pj’s while watching the game and called it an early night. I was so proud of my Hubs. Sometimes games (especially the big ones) can put a damper on our husband’s moods. But he took it like a champ and was proud of his favorite team and called it a great year.

Today probably isn’t the best day to be blogging and giving updates on the happening in our home. I’m in a mood. I don’t know what kind of mood to call it though. I realized today as I was driving to work that I am completely overwhelmed and I think being a bump on a log with absolutely no energy isn’t doing me any favors. I find myself comparing my unchecked to-do list to someone else’s almost completely checked off list and beating myself up that I’m not a better wife, a better home-keeper, a better cleaner, a better laundry do-er. The list could seriously go on and on. I’m glad I am super aware of this but, it’s not helping my already overwhelmed-ness.

I’m finding that I am worrying constantly about the “unknowns”, and “the how’s this gonna work…”, and “the gotta get x,y and,z done, but when?”… It feels kind of like chaos but all up inside my head (ok and well the bedroom and laundry room). But I realized today (even though I’ve been feeling it heavy on my heart for weeks, or maybe even a few months) why I don’t feel grounded. Why my feet don’t feel like they are on the solid rock and which I should be standing.

The Word.

The living, breathing, need it forever and always, the hoping giving, peace giving, Word. Also known as your bible.

I am so ashamed that I cannot remember the last time I pulled that bugger out for just some me time. I’ve read it for our small group and I’ve done my fair share of flipping through it on Sunday during the sermon, or googled a verse that was popping in my head. But I have not picked up my bible just to spend some time with Jesus. Ouch. I have a million and one excuses why I haven’t. I could claim that the overwhelming desire to sleep has distracted me, or the fact that for several weeks there a lot of my free time at night was sitting in the bathroom. Blah, blah blah. Excuses.

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So, all that being said, I’ve hit my max and this “mood” that I happen to be feeling is a direct result and wake up cry for my souls biggest thirst. Again, if my post seems Debby-downer from start to finish, it’s my mood speaking and not necessarily my normal life is good mood. If you know me personally, I would definitely ask that you just gently encourage me to get my booty in the word and remind me that this season shall too pass. Perhaps that I won’t be overwhelmed forever, it’s just a season. Mmmk, thanks 🙂 Good chat!

On another note, it’s cold. I don’t like being cold. I’m cold all the time. Unless I’m not, then I’m way too hot. I blame it on the little one who’s stealing everything else from me. 🙂

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**Pregnancy and Ultrasounds mentioned**

I am now a whopping 10 weeks and 5 days, and babe was showing off this week and being a complete over achiever and measured at 11 week even! I have an anterior placenta, which I am a little bummed about, but baggers can’t be choosers. An anterior placenta basically means that the placenta sits on the portion of my uterus that sits closest to my abdomen wall. If it doesn’t move there is a higher likelihood that I won’t feel the baby move until closer to 20-22 weeks. For my sanity, I am really hoping it moves so that I don’t have to wait any longer than I have to. But, at this point, babe seems to be sticking, growing, thumping right along.

I started up Yoga at work, and I should even brag about it cause really it’s once a week. Something is better than nothing. I’ve replaced my breakfast with a loaded smoothie (kale, spinach, banana, rice protein powder, peanut butter, frozen mixed berried, and almond milk). It’s amazing. I’m fuller longer, I’m getting (hopefully) more iron in, and I just overall feel better.

I know in my last post I asked about genetic testing and I got lots of great feedback. Connor and I have decided to decline. The test may or may not have been covered by insurance and she assured me that without it, it’s incredibly expensive. We will not, however, decline the anatomy scan in the second trimester. This will give us another peek at babe and also make sure his/her growth and vital organs are developing properly. It’s the right decision for us, but I fully understand that for some, it might not be the right choice. We really appreciate all the feedback and it brought up a lot of great conversations.

So, off to the RE I went yesterday for my “peace of mind” appointment. It was seriously everything and more that I could have wanted. First here’s little Squishy:

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Once again, little one was as active as ever. Kicking, punching, rolling, stretching, and even scrunching up really tiny. I was totally blown away again. Little one’s heart rate bumped up to 176, but apparently my heart rate was way up as well so he suggested it was likely due to me being all wired. In my defense I thought I left my office on time and ended up showing up right ON time (not early like I always try to be). So I bolted – yup,  almost like a half run –  up the stairs and got called back immediately so I didn’t have time to sit and catch my breath from rushing everywhere. Plus I am out of breath ALL.THE.TIME now. I was a little winded on occasion before this week, but now, I can’t breathe. ever. I lead worship at church quite often and I find I have to back away from the mic at times and just breathe. Haha, it’s comical, I’m always making eyes at the hubs signaling that I just simply cant breath, I take this opportunity to encourage clapping, haha. Anyway, the heart rate is fine, and will likely go back down as my heart rate goes back down.

Here you go ladies:

Next appointment: End of January  – I’m gonna try to be strong and wait it out. 2.5 weeks, totally do able, right?
Total weight gain/loss: Meh, about even still, maybe plus 1-2 MAX. However at my RE’s office yesterday it showed I was up 4 total from pre-pregnancy. However, I’m ignoring it because that was after 2 full meals and a couple of snacks. I never weigh myself in the middle or the end of the day. Never. So my home scale says I’m the same.
Exercise: Yoga is in full swing, and I’m making an effort to do more stairs and walk more as much as possible!
Maternity clothes: Nah, not really. My pants are getting tighter and my clothes are fitting weird now. So Connor took me shopping and I got a couple of clearance items from Old Navy. I’m returning the pants though, they fit weird.
Sleep: I need it. I crave it. I did get a solid 2 hour nap in on Sunday. That was pure bliss I tell ya. Other than that, sleep, I usually toss and turn and then toss and turn some more, get up pee, and toss and turn a little longer. Hmph.
Food cravings:  Tomatoes. More specifically grape tomatoes. I’ll eat the whole tub if I’m not careful.
Symptoms: All the usual stuff, but totally manageable. Getting better day by day, though. Hardly any nausea, Yay!
Movement:  TOO early.
What I miss: Eggs. Having a fairly new severe allergy to eggs is not convenient. I want eggs. And lots of them. In every form. I want fresh cold deli meat, and I don’t want to have to heat it up.
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby 🙂
What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling movements and knowing the gender.
Best moment this week: Again, laughing at my little one bouncing around and I can’t feel a thing, this time Connor came with me, it was a really special moment. I think my RE even fist bumped the nurse during my ultrasound with his amazing picture-taking skills. They were excited, mostly because they don’t typically see babies at this size. If you aren’t an RPL patient you usually get shuffled out to an OB after a heartbeat is confirmed at 6ish weeks. They were all pretty excited. It was awesome.
Last but not least, my vulnerability………… Here we go…… A bump/flab/gas/bloat shot. Last night my twin sister and I were looking at her old bump shots from her last pregnancy. It was funny to see that what I look like in this pic is what she looked like at 12 and 13 weeks. So, here we go…. ohmygoshicantbelieveimdoingthis…………
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It was a tight sweater dress, and I giggle every time I see my funny shaped gut. This body is changing and it will continue to change. So, there you have it friends. YIKES.