Who Dreamt Up Someone So Divine…

Ok, I know this song makes me sound so cheesy, but I have been listening to it non-stop and letting the tears run freely. I’m not sure why, but I have a feeling it’s tethered to my beliefs in God and how He has so intricately and amazingly created not only my husband but also the little dude coming soon.
It’s mostly this part that wrecks me…
So if I’m ever not kissing you or looking in your eyes
I won’t be blind and I won’t cry
I’ll look up high and gladly sigh

And thank the guy
Who puts the rainbow in the sky
Who lights the stars at night
Who dreamt up someone so divine,
Someone like you and made them mine
Someone like you and made them mine

I die, every time. Perhaps this last trimester has turned on my weepy faucets… I’ve noticed my tears come a lot more freely lately. Usually over weird stuff. Like love songs… Or commercials. Or (let me brag for a second) the beautiful flowers and note from the hubs telling me how much he appreciates all I do – especially when I’ve been down for the count a lot lately…….. Or a really yummy dinner – Don’t judge me.
It’s been a pretty uneventful week, and I have a feeling things will remain that way for a bit, which is totally fine. With warmer weather coming, and evenings spent by the pool and with friends and family before we have little C join us, things will pick up and I’ll have lots of pictures to share! Not to mention pics of fabulous food and baby showers coming too! I feel like I’m living in a dream, this is what spoiled feels like. It…. it makes me thankful.
Due date:  August 6, 2015
How far along: 29 Weeks! I never imagined I would ever be 29 weeks pregnant. The thought has never once crossed my mind. And now that I’m there… I’m delightfully baffled and thankful and grateful. Cue the tears again… Seriously. It’s amazing, even in all it’s aches and pains and discomforts. It’s quite the experience. I’m being exceptionally brave – Bare belly shots. I’ve got a nice lovely (dark) line, a flat/innie/outie belly button and some foldies around my ribs! Enjoy, ha!
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Next appointment: The 27th. I have graduated to every-other-week appointments. All my appointments have been scheduled up to my due date. Which is nice, but also kinda weird…. My glucose test came back perfect. However, my third tri blood work showed that I was pretty anemic (which is completely common and nothing to sneeze at), but I am now on a RX of extra iron… I’m sure I’ll take it the remainder of the pregnancy, or maybe they’ll retest me again? Not sure. But at this point, if that’s all that comes up – I’ll take it!
Gender: Boy – Crosby Dixon
Exercise: Nothing. I hate it. My hip (SI Joint) has been so incredibly painful that I feel like I limp around all day then plop on the sofa/bed for the rest of the evening. I’ve even had some days where I completely lose feeling in my right leg and toes… Usually that gives me relief from pain, so I don’t mind. Sometimes I get ambitious and try to do chores but I cry often from pain. It sucks and it hard really made me very aware of my pride and stubbornness. Letting my hubs take care of me and the chores around the house has been very humbling and very appreciated. BUT, I’m still believing that it’s going to heal up soon. And I’m really looking forward to the pool warming up a bit so I can get some exercise in that way.
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Stretch marks: Nope!
Belly button:  Half in/ half out/ half flat?
Sleep: I would wish and hope for sleep all the day long… But it doesn’t happen… unless accompanied by a sleep aid. Which they said is fine, but I do try to limit my use of Tylenol PM.
Food cravings:  My mocha kick is gone. Its good and all, and I’m still drinking them, but I don’t feel like I need it anymore. I’m not really craving anything. Maybe I want a hamburger… Or maybe I’m just hungry…again.
Symptoms:  Growing belly, bust and butt! Fatigue. The emotions are starting to become more weepy, forgetful, distracted. I’m not sure where my brain is, but I hope it comes back at least a little.
Movement:  Roll, wiggle, twitch, punch, kick, roll. Repeat. All.Day.Long. I still haven’t felt any hiccups, I hope I feel them at least once?
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Even though Crosby’s about 16 inches tall, the size of a pineapple, and pretty close to birth height, he is still weighing in at about three – three and a half pounds, so he still has a lot of fat to pack on in the next eleven weeks. Crosby’s muscles and lungs continue to mature, and he still has plenty of weight to gain. As he gets bigger in the womb and has less room to unleash those roundhouse kicks, you’ll start to feel slight movements, like elbows to your uterus, more often. These movements may start to feel more defined and more regular, and are reaching the point where they generally peak and plateau – the level of movement Crosby will be at until you give birth, essentially.
Labor signs: NONE! He’s still up very high, I have the occasional – Braxton Hicks contractions, but that doesn’t mean anything.
What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, walking normally, not being in pain.
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby 🙂
What I’m looking forward to: Getting my hairs did tonight. Maternity pics. Baby Showers!! I have to brag, I have some of the best friends, family, and coworkers! I am spoiled and I am having 3 (!!!!!!) showers. I can’t even believe it. I also have to mention they all did an amazing job at designing invites. I actually feel quite speechless – as I am so overwhelmed with the fact that people actually want to throw a party for us to help us welcome Crosby. Amazing.. here’s a sneak of ONE of my shower invites:
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Credit goes to a gal in Marketing at my place of employment and another coworker (L). They are amazing!

What I’m reading: Acts, as well as Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. I am looking to purchase Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongan, just to see what that’s all about. But so far my only prep to delivery is positive self talk and trusting that my body is going to do what it needs to do and is capable of. But I’m also spending a lot of time bringing my fears/excitement/nerves/questions/etc to the Lord and trusting that He knows what’s best and will guide me as needed.
Baby Purchases: We bought a camera. Like a legit camera. It’s hard spending that much money, but we are SUPER excited to have something nice to capture a lot of great moments from here on out.
Best moment this week: This happened…
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My bestie Lindsey gifted me a 50 min pedicure at a local Spa and Coffeehouse. OhMyGosh it was amazing. She’ll never know how thankful I was for the gift and how I savored every.single.second. My feet feel fresh and loved. Ha! Thank you, chica. Seriously, such a wonderful surprise gift!
So basically I’m uncomfortable, I don’t sleep, I’m sore, and tired, but I’ve never been more thankful in my life.
I cannot believe I am getting SO close. It’s nuts. But then again, I still have quite some time…. 🙂 Happy Memorial Day weekend! Be safe, have fun, and celebrate!
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Grief and Joy can co-exist

This song hasn’t been a stranger on this blog before. I know I’ve referenced more than a few times. But to me, its worth noting again. March 27th… I should be preparing for a 1st birthday party. Instead I’m full of a mixture of feelings that most people don’t understand. So I don’t talk about them. There is a deep-rooted physical, emotion, spiritual wound that suffocates me twice a year with each loss. Not many people understand that even though I am having a perfectly normal, amazing, wonderful pregnancy today… I still feel pain for the others I have lost. And I don’t just feel it… It’s much deeper than just a “feeling”.

“Sovereign in the mountain air
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm”

What’s amazing to me is the difference between last year and this year. But, also the similarities. Last year I was celebrating a beating heart and a lot of hope. It was just a short month later that things went south, and fast. This year doesn’t look too much different. We still have a heart beat, we had a seemingly wonderful anatomy scan (still waiting for the Dr. to call me about results). I still have hope and my heart is still joyful of the work the Lord has done over time. But this year my heart is quite heavy. I’m not as “happy”. Today is harder than it was last year.

“Sovereign in my greatest joy
Sovereign in my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn”

To someone who’s never experienced this before they may not understand. It may seem silly to be weighted down with grief for a day or two. So, I don’t talk about it much. When I do, it usually comes out a little snippy. I’ve never once expected friends or family to remember such things, but then I feel a lot of feelers that it seems like this little life only made an impact in mine. Which I know isn’t true.

As my friend said today, “It’s a complicated mess…. It makes me wonder if this is our body’s way of protecting us.. like if we felt all the grief at once, we’d collapse? So now that we have joy to balance it, we can “afford” to feel the rest of the broken.”

I couldn’t have agreed more. Grief is complicated, it has no timeline, and it certainly has no limitations. It comes when it wants and lingers as long as it pleases. BUT, it’s how we respond to it that keeps us moving forward. It’s ok to not be ok, just don’t be taken captive.

“In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust You

I totally don’t mean to be a debby downer, so let’s get to the FUN part… Little Dude and his amazingness…

Next appointment: End of April (25ish weeks)
Weight Gain/Loss: Too much to me, but most say don’t worry (+14). As you read in my last post this is something that I, unexpectedly, am struggling with. And when I say struggle, I mean like really really struggle. I didn’t think this would happen. In fact before pregnancy I even was joyous over the idea…. But now that I am living it out.. It’s hard. So, from now on – I will not be including this. I’ve asked to not know my weight gain unless it is completely vital to my health or the health of little Mr. I had a surprise “day of” visit with my doc on Monday (hello contractions, a cervical check, and finding out that my bladder has “fallen out of place”, almost like a prolapse) and she suggested I watch my carb intake and limit my portions. Blah… So I don’t want to know anymore.
Exercise: *same* I’m not totally lazy, I promise…. Ok, well I’m just sucking at the whole exercise consistently thing…. whomp, whomp…
Maternity clothes: I think I am finally needing new tops. I usually wear fitted shirts, I’ve never owned a ton of the flowy/vintage like tops, but I think that will be my new style come summer. But I need to keep my work dress code in mind. I don’t mind showing off the bump, but I don’t need my shirts rolling up on me anymore! Ha! 
Sleep: I’m on a winning streak!!! YAY, well except for last night.
Food cravings:  RED ROBIN BONZAI BURGER!!!!!! Still. I’m ashamed. But I’m also craving Thai food something fierce. I get teased often for my lack of love for spicy food even though I am Mexican. Haha, but lately I want jalapeno’s, and Thai food, and curry, and hot sauce, and spicy salsa. I’m really enjoying my new-found love for spicy. I hope it stays.
Symptoms: I’m full. Always. I’m tired, often… Achy back, achy ribs. But otherwise, things are great!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Little dude is about 10.5 inches long and should weigh about 3/4 of a pound. As soon as I get my anatomy scan results I’m sure I’ll get some exact measurements. He’s working on building up his first poo, exciting….. haha. He’s a busy body all.day.long. and all.night.long. He’s working on peeing ever 30-45 minutes, and he’s busy gaining fat to plump up!
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Movement:   It’s glorious. Seriously the best thing in the world. Once I knew for certain that was him wiggling around I’ve felt him non-stop since. It’s been amazing. Except I’m not sure how people manage to sleep through movement? How is it even possible?
What I miss:  I miss being able to bend over and tie my shoes without feeling like my lunch/breakfast/dinner will come back up. I miss being able to eat a full meal. I miss my energy.
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels and looks. I love that my belly is getting more and more round. I’m loving how active this dude is. His little feisty personality kills me.
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What I’m looking forward to:  I’m SOO looking forward to painting/decorating Little Mr’s room. Looking forward to announcing a name. Looking forward to so so much. A life full of baseballs, tackles, snuggle sessions, and raising a man who loves Jesus. OH, and my appointment with our Doula!
Baby Purchases:  I just found out via text that my hubs purchased him some Carolina Panthers onesies. I’m excited!!! Baby Gates are next!
Best moment this week: The anatomy scan. Little dude was twirling, kicking, punching, and wiggle worming his way around my whole tummy. It was comical. I had to get up a few times to get him to move a certain way. It was entertaining to say the least.
Hello 21 weeks, I’m excited you’re here and yet again, thankful that I’ve been blessed to experience everything this far!
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Changing Colors

You look at me with uncertainty
You look at me with urgency
You look at me with fear in your eyes
Like you’re about to fall away

Don’t be afraid to change your colours now
I’ve known you all summer and you rose above it all
I see you hesitate to fall now
But it’s a pretty good view from down here too

When the wind takes you it takes me too
And when you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
And when you let go, I will let go too

I knew you when you were green and small
Like a feather on a wing, so long
You know I will miss you when you are gone
But don’t be afraid if you just can’t hang on

Cause when the wind takes you it takes me too
When you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
When you let go, I will let go too

When the wind takes you it takes me too
And when you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
And when you let go, I will let go too

The cold air is pushing hard on you
I know what you’re saying, I can feel it too
You’ll go through changes and I’ll go through them too
Don’t be afraid now, no don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid

Cause when the wind takes you it takes me too
When you change colours, I’ll change mine too
Try not to think and I will try too
When you let go, I will let go too

Ok so this may seem like and odd choice in song (but I have to admit I absolutely love Josh Groban), but the biggest highlight of this last week was celebrating with my grandparents on Valentines Day. Why were we celebrating? Well, they’ve made it through 63 years of hard work, determination, understanding and extreme change. They’ve had to learn to evolve with each other, instead of away from each other. They’ve had to endure loss and frustration and addictions. They’ve seen the best of one another and the very worst of one another. They’ve had to let go of a lot and they’ve gotten to hold a lot. They’ve had very little, and they’ve had much. I couldn’t think of a better example of what marriage looks like. I’ll never forget around the year of their 60th (maybe 61st…?) anniversary, they went through a season of sickness and as I sat in the hospital with them my grandpa was bragging about the new rings they got each other. After 60 years, he’s bragging about the gifts they were capable of giving. After 60 years while he’s in a hospital bed and gown he’s still looking at his bride like the most prized possession he’ll ever have and hold.

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In 63 years will I be able to say that Connor and I have changed with each other, or away from each other? In 63 years will I still look at him like he’s the best gift that the Lord ever gave me? Will we always work as a team, let go together when it’s needed, or hold on tight together when it’s needed? I think that’s why I chose this song. Where you are, it’s where I want to be. Good, bad, ugly. When have little, and when we have lots. I want my colors to be capable of changing when needed. I want to be that example that my great grandkids look to and say, THAT’S the kind of marriage I want. I want to make it to 63 years and then some, lord willing we live that long!

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I love these two people, and quite a bit. I don’t see them as often as I’d like, I don’t talk to them as often as I’d like. Sometimes I’m a terrible granddaughter but every.single.time I call I am ALWAYS greeted with love and affection. Every.single.time I see them there are always tears in their eyes for the love and affection they feel for all their Grandkids and Great Grandkids. This. This is what love and commitment looks like. I couldn’t be more thankful to have a beautiful example.

Here’s to 60 and then some years, Love. I can’t wait to do all the ups and downs with you some more.

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This week I had the pleasure of becoming an Auntie again. Nope, not blood auntie, but I’ve received the honor of having that title for one of my closest friends newest addition. He is quite possibly the sweetest ever, and I know that I say it every time, but I really do mean it, every time.
Welcome to the world Deegan Asher, I’m so in love with you and I can’t wait to see what the Lord does in your amazing tiny little life!
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Alrighty, so for those that are interested, here is my weekly updates 🙂
Next appointment: End of February (17 weeks) – This will include an ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I am up 5 pounds max *I think*. To be honest I am not tracking this very well…
Exercise: Yoga, Yoga Yoga, my DVD came and I’m so excited. I’ve even convinced the husband to join me in my stretching endeavors!
Maternity clothes: About the same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. Mostly normal tops (although I’ve noticed they’re starting to roll up on occasion haha). Pants/leggings/skirts all maternity. Especially at the end of the day!
Sleep: Meh. sometimes ok, sometimes not.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have. I’m still having a love obsession over fruit and veggies! WIN! Oh, and also I usually eat chips and salsa everyday at 10:30 AM. Healthy, I know….
Symptoms: Tired. Headaches, oh my gosh the headaches. They turn into full-blown migraines about 3-5 times a week. I finally reached my thresh-hold and my Primary doc gave me some Phenergran for the really really bad migraines. I hate taking it, but oh my gosh, it brings me sleep and relief from nauseating pain. Dizzy, lots of dizzy. Growing a belly!!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now the size of a pickle (what the heck, who comes up with these?) measuring just over 4.5inches long and weighing just over 4 ounces. It’s wiggling around, sucking his/her thumb, and learning to listen with its newly refined ears. Each week, regardless of the veggie/fruit it compares it to, I am so amazed at the beautiful creation being knitted together inside of me. Babe’s heart rate is still consistently in the high 150’s and low 160’s.
Movement:  *same* I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss: Colton. I know I say Colton every week. But it’s true. He’s always on my mind – especially lately. On February 21st , 2014 I learned for the first time that I was pregnant with this sweet boy. My heart aches to know him and hold him, but I couldn’t be more thankful that he’s being held and known by the One who created him. I miss my skin…. I don’t want to look like an acne-prone teenager anymore. I also miss having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper, although I made no bake cookies before work and I will say that I have MUCH pride in those cookies, I feel like Super Woman .
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What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels and looks. I’m loving that I *think* I’m feeling more and more movement. It amazes me every time that there is a tiny human in there.
What I’m looking forward to:  Knowing that what I’m feeling is movements and knowing the gender…..I can’t wait to see babe SOOOON….. and buying ALL THE BABY THINGS.
Baby Purchases:  My sister was super generous and gifted us her crib, and Ergo baby wearing carrier thing, and a bunch of other accessories. We have also been gifted a few books and toys. This stuff totally just blesses me and makes me realized how loved this little one is. Blows me away, every.single.time. We now have two Costco size boxes of diapers, and we are working on a few house projects before we get started on baby purchases. I can’t wait to feel confident enough to buy things. As any RPL-er and they will tell you that buying baby things is a major trigger and whether you actually believe it or not, we feel it may jinx the pregnancy.
Best moment this week: Many people at work are getting wind that I am pregnant and so more and more people are starting to ask and I’ve really noticed how much support we have. It’s really a huge blessing. Also, we got some really fun news from our extended family and I can’t wait to share that in coming posts!!!!!!
Hello 16 weeks, I’m excited you’re here and thankful that I’ve been blessed to experience everything this far!
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The Love I Know

 

He painted ‘I love you’ on the bridge
Then watched them burn
She bet all she had upon the love
Now she’s holding her cards and lost her turn

Two hearts in search of wholeness
Both willing to risk it all
Could true love have fled so easily
Leaving both broken from the fall

Not the love I know
It knows no boundaries
Keeps no record of wrongs
That’s the love I know
It takes the good with the bad
And it fights to stay strong
That’s the love I know
This love always finds a way to carry on
That’s the love I know

He sits all alone and stares into an empty sky
She goes through all her mixed emotions
Trying to find a reason why

Was their pride too big to swallow
Was their hurt too deep to heal
Could they find some understanding
Find forgiveness that’s real

That’s the love I know
It speaks in kindness
It seeks only what’s true
That’s the love I know
A love without condition it looks to renew
That’s the love in know
It knows that when hope seems gone
Hope will come through
That’s the love I know

The love I know comes from a holy God to man
Isn’t it time that you received it
Are you starting to understand
The love I know

That’s the love I know
It speaks in kindness it seeks only what’s true
That’s the love I know
A love without condition it looks to renew
That’s the love I know
It knows that when hope seems gone hope will come through
That’s the love I know
That’s the love I know

So, some people may or may not like the direction I’m taking recently with my blog. But each week my blog will always start with a song that has been impactful over the course of the week. Most of which happen to be within the Christian Music genre. Take it, or leave, or skim right past. But I these are the little things I don’t want to forget.

Now, most of this song is focused on romantic relationships that have been damaged. However, it’s the chorus that really got me. I feel like lately there has been such a HUGE increase in social media wars. Shaming women for their decisions about breastfeeding or not, vaccinating or not, cloth diapers or disposable, home births, water births, fully medicated births. Not to mention the hottest debate right now is 50 Shades of Grey. I mean, seriously, type the number 50 into your Google search and I can almost guarantee that 50 Shades of Grey will be the first option to pick. I refuse to pipe into these debates because to me it’s not a debatable subject. I know what I believe and I know what God has asked of me and my family.

What’s most disappointing is how some of the Christian community has forgotten Love in this process. It seem like everyone is using books about fictional “romance” to be the standard of Love.  After talking with my husband about this topic last night and reflecting back on the debates that flood my Facebook, I realized that what’s missing in almost everyone’s debate is: Love.

Love isn’t kinky sex written in novels or displayed on social media or best seller box office hits.

Love isn’t purposefully using hurtful, unkind words to shame someone for the choices they’ve made out of ignorance, blindness, or selfishness.

Love isn’t passing judgment on a mother who has made a choice because she believes it’s the right choice for her family (example: vaccinations, water/home birth, co-sleeping, epidurals, natural birth).

Love has a standard.

And honestly I feel like Love has been lost in all of these debates and rants about who is right and who is wrong. Why all the shame? Why all the fighting? Yes, as a believer we have an obligation to walk beside our brothers and sisters and call forward the issues that do NOT line up in God’s Word. BUT, there is a productive way of doing so, and a not so productive way of doing so. Frankly, some choices are not even our business to argue or input opinions on unless it is completely harmful to their spiritual health.

“The love I know comes from a holy God to man
Isn’t it time that you received it
Are you starting to understand
The love I know

That’s the love I know
It speaks in kindness it seeks only what’s true
That’s the love I know
A love without condition it looks to renew
That’s the love I know
It knows that when hope seems gone hope will come through
That’s the love I know
That’s the love I know”

How is this defined? Look to the author of Love. How do my words and reactions display His love? Am I speaking in kindness and seeking truth? I mean, Jesus set a perfect example of Love and how we’re to carry it out. How are so many people forgetting this? Many of my Christian friends have engaged in back and forth banter, claiming that they’re standing up for what’s right and what God has asked of them, but I don’t see much kindness in many of their words. Like I said earlier, I’m not seeing Jesus like love, trust me – I am just as guilty sometimes. So this song, it’s been a good reminder to me of what my Love is to look like. Whether that’s within the intimacy of my own marriage or out in public while surrounded by much debate.

I have a lot of my own opinions and beliefs about all said topics, but it would completely irrelevant to share that. I am however, not tolerant of sin, and not afraid to point back to the bible about His standards that He has made clear for us. There are many choices I believe are the wrong choice and many that I think are the right choice (and there are certainly some topics that don’t have a right or wrong choice) but it doesn’t mean I’m going to love any differently.

On that note:

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 So my littlest favorite turned 1-year-old this last week. I don’t know where time goes, but it certainly goes way too fast. This chunk of a lady is walking, and growling (um, the cute growls), smiles, and eats snacks like she loves even the lamest of foods. She holds a very special place in my heart (ok, all my favorites do..). I can’t imagine my life without her.

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At her birthday party my niece became acquainted with a new baby. This babe is a teeny tiny 3/4 month old who is just sooo sweet. My niece clearly loves babies and is soooo tender and sweet when loving on them. She made sure to inspect every finger and every toe. She gently brushed her hand on her cheek and kissed her sweet little forehead. I have never seen such tenderness from a crazy 10-year-old. Heart.Melted.

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I have some pretty amazing friends. Like, ok, they are so amazing that I absolutely consider them my family. No questions asked. And then there is this man in my life, who happens to be my bestest friend in the whole world. So I found a little something that one, fits my minion theme and two, holds true for all my friends.

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Ok, biggest apologies for the lengthy post, so if you’re still reading here is this weeks latest on our Little Squishy.
Next appointment: End of February (17 weeks) – This will include an ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I am still only up 5 pounds max *I think*. Like I said last week, this is an odd update. but I’ll know more come my next appointment.
Exercise: Bought myself a yoga DVD. Now I can do more yoga than I was before. I’ve been terrible at walking. But I have been doing planks about 2-3x a week, that counts right?
Maternity clothes: About the same – All jeans and pants have been switched. My leggings are starting to feel snug. But they’ll do until spring – bring on the maxi skirt!!!
Sleep: Meh, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I’ll take whatever I get and I’ve learned this is a new normal, and I’m ok with that.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have… I guess I love any and all fruit (can’t get enough of it) and I LOVE me come baby carrots and salads right now…. But I don’t CRAVE it.
Symptoms: Still some lingering nausea here and there. Forgetful, clumsy, dizzy (so bad), tired, and of course the usual.
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now the size of an avocado measuring just over 4 inches long and weighing just over 2.5 ounces. It’s wiggling around testing out its new range of motion in the arms and legs, sucking his/her thumb, and practicing swallowing. I find all these little tidbits simply amazing. Little one’s heart rate is still consistently in the high 150’s and low 160’s. Usually landing around 161bpm.
Movement:  *same* I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss: Having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper. Clear skin. Today is the first day I’ve really thought about wine and how it seems like it’s been a really long time since I’ve had a glass. I don’t miss it, but I guess today I would say it sounds nice.
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels. Also, how quickly my nails are growing. All the new quirks my body is doing. It seems like everyday I notice something new now.
What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling movements and knowing the gender…..I can’t wait to see babe at the end of the month….. and buying ALL THE BABY THINGS.
Baby Purchases: We did it. We purchased wipes and diapers. But, right now we are working on getting some house stuff done and ready for little one’s appearance first, then we’ll focus on actual baby items needed.
Best moment this week: Noticing a big change in the appearance of my stomach. Ok, well at least to me it looks like it’s changed quite a bit. Also sending out invitations to a….. Gender Reveal party….. EEEEEP.
Hello 15 weeks! Be kind to me, please:
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