Ever Be

Your love is devoted like a ring of solid gold
Like a vow that is tested like a covenant of old
Your love is enduring through the winter rain
And beyond the horizon with mercy for today

Faithful You have been and faithful you will be
You pledge yourself to me and it’s why I sing

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips
Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips

You Father the orphan
Your kindness makes us whole
You shoulder our weakness
And Your strength becomes our own
You’re making me like you
Clothing me in white
Bringing beauty from ashes
For You will have Your bride

Free of all our guilt and rid of all our shame
And known by our true name and it’s why I sing

You will be praised You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord
You will be praised You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord

This song has been stuck on repeat in my car (at my desk, getting ready in the mornings…etc) for a few weeks now. I’d like to think of it as my newest anthem. With all the fear and anxieties I’ve felt over the last few months it’s a beautiful reminder of how incredibly faithful He has been. Through loss, through trial, through sorrow and sadness, through joy and victory. He has been so incredibly faithful and deserving of all of my praise. My one and only desire (above all else, including pregnancy, family, work, etc) is to continually be in a state of having His goodness on my lips. That the words I speak and the words I choose would directly reflect Him. Shamefully, sometimes I am no good at this, and that’s why I love His grace. It’s sufficient to cover my shortcomings. Anyway, the video isn’t of great quality. If you love it, I highly encourage you to purchase the CD that I heard it on.

We Will Not Be Shaken – Bethel Music ( you can watch their newest video of this song and others like it on this website)

It’s wrecked me and it’s brought on some amazing moments of worship.

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I’m not sure that I have anything fun/amazing to report about my week other than we’ve made it through another week. Ha! I’m not sure if I’m stoked at how boring our lives are right now, or if it’s bothersome. What I find super interesting is with how busy I’ve felt, I don’t have anything fun/major/exciting/sad to report.

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I think that this is a super accurate description of the type of fun we’re having at the Brooks’ home. That and finishing off the Parenthood Series Finale then getting sucked into far too many episodes I care to admit each night of the Black List – Don’t spoil it we’re still in season 1. Once we finish a round of a Black List binge I finally claim to be tired, then my body plays a cruel, mean, terrible joke on me. I lay down – BAM… It must be PARTY TIME..

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Or this:

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I must be on a Minion kick again. I just can’t help it, sorry.. But, not really.

OK, really…. Here’s the real scoop on the biggest happenings in our home…

Next appointment: End of February (17 weeks) – This will include an ultrasound.
Weight Gain/Loss: I am up 5 pounds max *I think*. To be honest I am not tracking this very well… First of all our scale at home sucks. If I look at my medical charts they ONLY have my pre-pre pregnancy weight and I was much thinner when we discovered I was pregnant for the first time (almost 2 years ago, and right after getting married, hello honeymoon body haha). I’ve decided that I really hate commenting on this subject, but I also realize I don’t want to forget the changes my body made. I believe my pre-pregnancy weight (for THIS pregnancy) was around 116.8lbs and today (I usually weigh myself on Friday’s) my first step on the scale said 119.8lbs and then the second step said 121.2lbs or something. So perhaps I may ONLY start making weight comments at each OB appointment. I’m not sure yet.
Exercise: Yoga, and I’m making an effort to do more stairs and walk more as much as possible! After the issues with my back (it’s getting 10000X better) I have been cleared for squats and planks! So I am adding this, on occasion, to my morning routine or bedtime routine.
Maternity clothes: About the same – I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no…. My jeans have been swapped for leggings and on days that I need actual pants I do wear low/small panel maternity pants/jeans. Most of my tops are fine still, however I do have a little bit more a tummy (and boobs, let’s be real) to fill them out more.
Sleep: I think I’ve reach a turning point. Over the last week my sleep has improved SO much. Although it takes me a little longer to fall asleep, once I’m asleep I’m out. I hope this pattern continues. Now I just need to not love my bed so much in the mornings.
Food cravings:  I’ve got nothing on my list that I HAVE to have. But I will say, at least once or twice a week I REALLY want a bean and cheese burrito from Taco Bell. However, it’s not too often that we actually give in to that craving.
Symptoms: I’m feeling a million times better this week. Perhaps I may be human again? The nausea is few and far between and totally remedied with a piece of gum, the sleep is better, the bloat isn’t so awesome, HA! The mood swings…. I’m doing so much better at controlling them, YAY! I’m learning that I’m more forgetful… But most times I forget that I’m getting forgetful and don’t write things down or remember where I put something important…
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I’m beginning to have more energy, but I do find I get winded a little more quickly and tired faster than usual. Ugh, let’s just not even talk about my skin (oh yeah, I need to ask my mom to send me some more samples… thanks for the reminder). But, as far as I can tell I think just maybe I’m just having a good week symptom wise. I hope it sticks!
Baby’s Size/Milestones: Baby is now the size of a Lemon measuring around 3.5 inches long and weighing just over 1.5 ounces. It’s wiggling around, sucking his/her thumb, and learning to swallow. I find all these little tidbits simply amazing. When I measured out how long 3.5 inches was I realized that babe would take up the length of the palm of my hand (yeah I have little hands). Amazing. Babe’s heart rate is still consistently in the high 150’s and low 160’s, but it also depends what time of day we take a listen.
Movement:  I’ve decided that I’m not going to listen to my doctor anymore about movement. I don’t care where the heck the placenta is or how it will change what I feel from the babe moving. At this point it’s said to be unlikely that I feel the baby – I happen to maybe disagree. Someone said to me a few weeks ago, ” Whether you’re right or wrong about feeling the baby move, it’s better to just go with it and believe that it’s baby. No one can REALLY tell you that it’s not, and no one can REALLY tell you that it is. So you may as well enjoy whatever you feel and believe that it’s your baby.” I loved that. I know that I am super sensitive to what my body does so sure, maybe it’s gas… Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s digestion, maybe it’s not. But clearly new things are happening in this area and I’ve noticed. I choose to be excited and hope that just maybe it’s the start of something.
What I miss: Colton. I know I say Colton every week. But it’s true. He’s always on my mind – especially lately. I also miss having the EXTRA energy to be a good housekeeper.
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Ok, maybe I’m the only who really truly notices when it doesn’t get done. I couldn’t be more thankful for a husband who has really loved me well lately and has taken on the majority of the house-hold chores. I mean seriously. There is something about walking in the door after working (on occasion 9+ hours) and seeing that the house is clean and vacuumed and the laundry is done and folded and put away. The bonus: lately even dinner has been ready for me 🙂
What I’m loving:  Growing a baby, how amazing my hair feels. Also, how quickly my nails are growing. All the new quirks my body is doing. It seems like everyday I notice something new now.
What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling movements and knowing the gender…..I can’t wait to see babe at the end of the month….. and buying ALL THE BABY THINGS.
Baby Purchases: Truthfully I am not sure that I’ve actually purchased anything since getting pregnant. I had purchased things while we were waiting, but today I got a text from my Love and he suggested we go start our diaper stash. My sister was super generous and gifted us her crib, and Ergo baby wearing carrier thing, and a bunch of other accessories. We have also been gifted a few books and toys. This stuff totally just blesses me and makes me realized how loved this little one is. Blows me away, every.single.time.
Best moment this week: Using my Doppler and realizing that baby is wiggling away too much to catch the heartbeat for very long. We end up trying to follow it around across my tummy, but we’ll hear it, then babe moves. Also with the Doppler you can pick up the sounds of it kicking. Kills me, every time. I love it.
Today I am now 14w1d, but I took my silly bump/selfie pic yesterday. And of course it showcases the lovely stripped black and gray dress. That has become my Thursday outfit. Soon enough, once the weather changes it will be a maxi skirt and a fun top I’m sure.
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Allllll of this to say:

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips
Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips

He is worthy of it all. No ifs ands and or buts about it. It’s ONLY because of him I have the honor to experience any of this. I’m not deserving of it, I didn’t do anything to earn it, and I certainly will not take any credit for this tiny little life. It’s all because of Him, all to Him I owe.

Also, I could have sworn there was something else I REALLY wanted to share, but I can’t remember.. So maybe we’ll get lucky and next week I’ll have TWO blog posts!

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Fabu (FULL) Friday

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EEEK! It’s Friday! What’s even more amazing about this Friday?

I am at home, in my PJs. And it’s 1:30pm.

This week many of us are reflecting on what we are thankful for. This year, although one of the harder years I’ve endured, I have much to be thankful for. Although I could go on and on (seriously, pages FULL) about all the things I am thankful for I’m still full from stuffing my face and I’ll keep my list short and sweet. The most important thing I am thankful for, the salvation I have in Jesus. The forgiveness I’ve been shown and the redemption, sanctification process, and how He is refining me daily to be more and more like Him.

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I’m gonna start with these too beauties! Oh.My.Gosh. These girls make my heart swell. We had a sleepover last weekend and it was packed full of hot-tubbin’, game playin’, moving watchin’, sleepless laughter and fun.

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They also got to be the first passengers in….. MY NEW CAR (new to me, it’s a 2010 GMC Terrain)!! My Hubs blessed my socks off and got me the car of my dreams! It was much needed as we had been praying over his Jeep for months now. Just asking the Lord to extend the mileage and use. So while we did that, He was making a way to provide the next vehicle.

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It was dumping rain when I took this picture so it’s not the best quality, but YAY! Seriously such an amazing gift!

After I took the girls home, after our fun and games, I came home and got to work. I know, it’s a little early, but hey this was the weekend I had the time do this. I cleaned my fanny off and then decorated for the Upcoming holiday season. It was fabulous! Seriously, so awesome!

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The corner of our sofa has been my retreat this week! I have been journaling, reading, and snuggling up in the sparkle of the lights and cozy warmth of the fireplace. This is by far my most favorite!

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Truth right here, gang. In my quiet times lately these are two truths that have been steadily on my heart. Trusting. Waiting. Knowing that He is working all things together for my good and His Glory. I love what He’s doing in my life and I love that He has been so faithful. This is a beautiful reminder for me to keep trusting and to know the He, alone, is my hope!

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This!!!! Oh my! So, my girlfriend, L, sent this to me yesterday morning. I about died. I am telling you, my furry friend Georgie is in LOVE with the skirt of the tree. I’ve never seen a cat more obsessed with a tree.

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Heehee, isn’t that the truth around the Holidays?

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Yup, especially on Saturday’s (or days off).

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Every.Single.Morning.

Happy Thanksgiving (I know, a day late). I hope that you all had a wonderful time with family and/or friends. If you have a large family, like we do, the festivities are still underway!

Next stuffing sesh, Saturday evening!

Fabu Friday!

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Another week has passed. And I’m telling you, it typically surprises me when it comes but this time I feel like it took a million years forever for Friday to get here. Dragging on and on and on……..

Last Friday, on our agenda, we had a pretty rad concert to catch. And let me tell you, it was rad! I feel like I finally found “my people”. When I lead worship at my church I typically don’t hold back. There is loads bouncing, jumping, and singing my guts out (usually until I am really out of breath). It’s so fun. Once Hillsong United came out, I discovered something….I’m telling you I BELONG WITH THEM! Haha, ok, I don’t think I could keep up with them, but man, it was so great. It was really an amazing night of worship (and entertainment).

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I am super thankful to have had the opportunity to go (allll thanks goes to my amazing boss).

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Huge difference…

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I can’t tell you how true I think this statement is. 🙂

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Happy (almost) Turkey/stuff your face full/eatwaytoomuchandfeelsicklater Day! If you guys have a large family or small group you might be starting the binge fest early. I know we are, festivities start Tuesday. I better bust out my leggings and stretchy pants now.

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This guy, Georgie, kills me. He has never ever snuggled me (or anyone for that matter) like this before. It was a glorious 20 minutes of snuggle time with my furry friend.

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This. This was my favorite part of the week. Ok, that’s a lie. I’m not a big fan of needles, at least it gets injected into the tush area where my eye balls cannot see how far the giant needle goes in, last time the hubs was a champ and did it flawlessly – this time the nurse did it, and I was bruised for days. I get weak just thinking about it. Anyway, triple lining of 8.5 and TWO follies of 17mm and 27mm (10,000 Novarel). I had some small little ones lingering around but nothing noteworthy or nearly mature enough to consider.

 TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m voting for twins. If I have a say, that’s what I want. Two for the price of one.

Ok, just kidding, but seriously, I’ll take what whatever He’s willing to give!

I think for the first time in our entire journey I am absolutely terrified of both outcomes. I soo want it to work but at the same time I am completely scared. I haven’t even really been able to clearly communicate the fear of either outcome. I think what might terrify me the most is a negative outcome or another chemical pregnancy. I’ve had two of those and 3 losses. But what’s equally terrifying is the possibility of actually achieving pregnancy again and get attached only for it to fail in weeks to come – and that’s only an assumption – it could also go perfectly. See I can’t even decide what’s worse, even though I was trying to.

So, what makes this Fabulous? Well, truthfully, I think it’s completely amazing that I (we – hubs and me) only have ONE responsibility. Have sex. 1, that is fabulous in itself and I don’t think that needs any explanation. 2, I have no control of the outcome. God, the author and creator of life, has all the control and a major plan for our life. Whether that includes children……or not. Ouch, maybe that’s what’s hard to really swallow…. Perhaps my desires and my idea of a family isn’t at all what He has planned. Some how that has to be ok, and right now, it’s only sorta ok. But regardless, its fabulous because this relieves me of all the pressure to perform. We just simply rest in the decisions and provisions and ride along waiting for direction/answers. Now THAT is Fabu! That is what Fabulous is all about, my friend!

Tonight, I get to have a slumber party with two girls, who happen to be my favorite, I hope they’re ready for pictures!

Have a Happy Friday!

Oh and in case you were wondering how many selfies it takes to get ONE good one in the car (don’t worry we were waiting in line at a coffee shop, not actually driving), here’s your answer:

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Fabu Friday’s

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Eeek! It’s Friday again! There’s no better way to start the weekend than with some spooktacular photos that made me giggle.

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Seriously, what a cute (and convenient) way to tote a wee one while also enjoying the Trick-Or-Treating excitement!

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Animals and captions and their faces… priceless.

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I think what’s really awesome about this picture is I actually know these people and not just know but actually like family with them. HA

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You know that previous pic? Yeah, these are their offspring. Cuteness overload. I wish I had the heart eyes emoji to insert here!

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Me… Clearly the only pink I’ve ever worn with a smile on my face. I thought I was really cool.

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Right? (except mine is sans caffeine :()

 

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Hey hey, it’s me plus another little me, the twinsie… Aren’t we cute?!

This week the Hubs and I decided to make some pumpkins. He’s a Panthers Fan, his turned out cool. Mine, Meh… it’s ok, it glows, that’s what I was hoping for 🙂 We have done pumpkins every year together and I think it’s a fun tradition for the 2 of us!

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I promise, last selfie 🙂

Happy Halloween Gang! I personally don’t dress up (I guess I do wear a ghost tshirt every year with a black long sleeve) but I do love passing out candies and seeing all the cuties in costume.

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Meow!

 

This week was a bit of a challenge for me, I really struggled to search for things that brought a smile to my face or joy. My funk tried to hold me down. But, with much determination I am happy to say I have a nice large handful of goofy moments, some from scrolling on FB and some in preparation of the Spooky Season!

Have fun, be safe and eat lots of candy 🙂

XO